Title : Took what I hated and made it a part of me

Author : Ray

Rated : R

Pairing : C/M

Description:  Mike thought life was easy once his secret was out. But things were not as they should be as obstacles and difficulties were thrown at him... but to his relief, Chester was there, to aid him and protect him as best he could. But is it enough?

I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me. That thought was over exaggerated.

Two years ago, I came out of the closet. To my family, the band, and the crew. No one had a problem with it. They were always saying “we don‘t care if you were straight, bi or gay. You‘re still the same Mike we know”. It was support like that that made me a bit more confident in my sexual preference. Everyone agreed never to let it out to the world. If anyone did, Chester agreed to deal with the person personally. To my surprise, people still think I’m still straight. People never ask how Anna and me are doing. They never question about the fact that there are no pictures of her posted anywhere. They just assume I’m going out with her and that she’s my girlfriend. Funny how that is.

The same week I came out, Mark, one of our crew members, came out to me. I never thought about him that way before. He asked me out and so as not to hurt his feelings, I agreed. I quickly fell in love with him. He was a heart throb and a charming guy. He was a kind and gentle. He worked out but he wasn’t over built. You can tell that he was strong.

No one knew we were going out until six months later. We walked in to NRG studios on one of our recording days-holding hands. Everyone was very supportive and was happy for us. They thought we made the cutest couple. That day I could have sworn I saw hurt in Chester’s face. I guess it was just me because after he was so happy for us. Always asking me what Mark and I did. Of course I didn’t tell him, it was a secret.

That was all then. Now I realize it was all a mistake. Behind closed doors, Mark is an abusive mad-man. He would hurt me and punish me for everything. After he gets tired or sees that I bled enough, he would stop and tell me how much he loved me and that he was sorry, only to repeat it a couple of days later. I felt like nothing to him. Every time we made love he wouldn’t care about my pain, just his pleasure. I doubt it’s even called making love, it’s more like rape. I never told anyone what’s been going on. They ask about the bruises but I lie and tell them I had a little accident. I’m amazed that they believed everything that I spat out to them.

If I was to ever tell anyone the truth he promised he would kill all the people I cared about. I didn’t believe what he was saying thinking that maybe it was just a joke. It was all a joke to me until he pulled a gun to my head. I froze as he repeated his words. I kept my mouth shut, never letting a soul know what’s been happening. To this day I’m still with him. I don’t feel the love for him anymore, but I got no choice.

“Fuck!” he swore, ramming into me harder, deeper, and faster. “you’re so fucking tight Mike!”

I laid there pain surging through my body. I had tears in my eyes, I always did every time he fucked me. But he never noticed or cared. I sobbed the first time he fucked me like this. I yelled at him to stop but he held me down, he was a lot stronger than I was.

He came and rolled off of me. He lay beside me panting. My body was numb, I couldn’t feel anything. He hugged my body as he slept. I squeak as he hugged me tighter causing me to feel more pain. Feeling slowly crept through my body, making me feel all the agonizing pain.

I slip out of his tight embrace as he lay there snoring. I slowly try to walk out of the master bedroom door and into the living room of this hotel suite. The lower part of my body was aching.

I walk my naked form to the small kitchen and open the small fridge taking out a bottled water. I unscrew the cap and gulp the water down. I hiss in pain as I sit in the dark looking out the window into the deserted streets of whatever city this was.

Tomorrow will be another day. What do I do? I never get use to the way he fucks me. He never listens to my cries and pleads. I finish gulping the bottle down and head back to the room. I lay my body farthest away from his and cover myself with the blanket, slowly forgetting the pain and drift to sleep.

~*~

I hear him talking to me. I try to zone it out as I rest some more.

“Wake up!” he yells slapping me in the face. My eyes shot wide open. I look at him holding the phone. “Chester’s on the phone”

I took the phone from his hand and put it against my ear.

“Hello?” I asked half tired.

“Mike... you okay?” a worried Chester asks.

“I’m fine... I just woke up that’s all”

“Why did he yell at your for then... are you sure your okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine don’t worry” I said while Mark looked, disgust in his eyes. I knew that if I said something to Chester now, something terrible would happen to him.

“umm... okay then, well I was just calling you to tell you that we have sound check in 2 hours and then we got the concert”

I looked at the time. Almost noon.

“Oh yeah... I totally forgot all about that”

“Well... I’m always here to remind you”

“And I thank you for that” I smiled.

“Well I gotta get going man... I’ll catch ya later Mikey”

“See ya later...” I said before turning off the portable phone.

“What the fuck did he want?” I flinched at the way he said ‘he’.

“He was just reminding me about the sound check we have in an hour” I lied. It was in two hours but I’ll lie my way through getting out of this dump. I knew I could get away with this for he never actually comes to the sound checks we have.

I headed into the washroom locking the door behind me. I turned on the shower and took off my clothes. I placed a hand inside the check if the water was warm enough to go into. Satisfied, I moved in slowly under the shower head.

I spent about 20 minutes in the shower and another 30 perfecting my hair. I brushed my teeth and got out of the washroom.

“Took you long enough, what the fuck do you in there” his voice cold. He went up to me looking at my hair.

“Why do you always spike it. You look ugly” He placed his hand on top of my head and ruffled it up making it more messy. I bit my lip. 30 minutes gone to waste.

“There!” he exclaimed. He pushed me back into the washroom to show me my new hairstyle. “you like?”

I hesitated before answering. “Y-yeah... I like it..”

“Good now go to your stupid sound check” he said pushing me out of the washroom and slamming the door behind. I stuck my middle finger at the door and mouthed the words ‘fuck you’.

I went to the car and fixed my hair back up into spikes.

“That stupid fuck...” I sighed.

It didn’t take long to arrive at the place where were holding our concert. I was greeted by the rest of the guys. I can tell everyone was eyeing at my newly formed scars. No one asked, I was thankful for that. Chester frowned, he was going to ask something when Joe finally blurted something out.

“WHERE’S FROGGIE!?” he cried. Everyone laughed at him “I lost HIM!”

“Where did you see him last?” Brad asked.

“If I knew that he wouldn’t be lost now would he” Joe said looking frantically around.

“We’ll help you look” the guys said in unison.

Chester looked back at me. He smiled and the opened his mouth.

“Where’d you get the scars this time?” he said sarcasm in his voice. “you fall off the toilet seat and accidentally the bathtub?”

He was probably looking at the scar I have at the side of my neck.

“Or did something come and nibble at it at the middle of the night while you were asleep?” he said mockingly.

“That’s not funny...” I said staring him coldly in the eye.

“Then why won’t you tell me what’s really happening” he said tilting his head.

I brushed pass him before he grabbed my hand. I stopped and looked at him.

“Let me go” I whispered.

“Tell me what’s been going on Mike..”

“It’s none of your business” Is said trying to shake his hand off. “now let me go”

He maybe a bit skinny, but he’s as strong as well built muscled up man. I whimpered as a shot of pain surged through me while trying to get his death grip off. He reluctantly let go hearing me whimper.

I walked off leaving him behind me. I could feel his stare behind the back of my head.

“I found him!” Joe exclaimed hugging the stuff frog tightly. “trying to run away from me huh?”

I looked at the others trying to hold in a little chuckle as Joe waved his forefinger in front of the frog like a little kid that did something bad.

“Can we do this already?” Brad asked irritated “and why do we have to come in so early... we don’t start the show till like... night almost”

“Who’s idea was it to come in this early anyways?” Phe asked looking around the rest of us.

“Sorry...” I said looking down at the ground. “I just... I thought we might need some... time...”

I bit my lip trying not to look at everyone’s gaze upon me.

“Hey that’s alright Mikey...” Rob said slouching down on the couch beside Joe who was holding his frog tight against his chest. “we forgive ya”

“Yeah... I’m just glad it wasn’t Joe’s idea... else he’d be dead right now” Phe said jokingly.

“So I guess we could rest until later tonight then?” I asked more than a statement that a question.

“Would you guys mind if I left back home then?” asked Brad. “I still got the snoozy in my head... and it’s beating my brain telling me to sleep, sleep, sleep”

“Yeah me too..” said Phe “can you hear them chanting Brad?”

Brad looked at him funny.

“How about you Joe? Rob?” I asked.

“I’m probably just gonna stay here and rest on these comfy couches” he said sitting beside Joe outstretching his hand.

“Me too” said Joe with a yawn. “if I wake up and this frog of mine is gone... I’ll have a bone to pick with you Rob”

He glared at Rob.

“Why me?” asked Rob.

“Because..”

“Because?”

“Because because..”

“Because because?”

“Because because because”

“Alright this will go on for a while” Brad said standing up heading to the door.

“Yeah we’ll see you guys later” Phe said following Brad.

“Come back at around 6 or something” I said to them.

“Yeah” they said together.

“So you don’t hear the voices?” I heard Phe say to Brad.

“Dave..”

“What?”

“You’re paranoid”

They shut the door and turned around to see a missing Chester. He probably went home to. I never even asked him if he was going to stay or not. I’m such a selfish asshole!

I turn back to look at Joe and Rob.

“Because because because because because....” Joe continued off.

I could see Rob stare at him trying to count how many times Joe was saying because. Rob was always determined to win. No matter what or who it was that he was playing.

Well I definitely won’t be able to stand this. I left the room and headed to the stage where we’re gonna perform hours from now. I wasn’t going to go back home.

‘Pretty big stage’ I thought to myself moving to the centre of the stage.

I looked at where the equipment was set up. Joe’s DJ stuff are at the upper right of the stage, while Rob’s drum set was at the other end. A couple of huge speakers directed to the equipments. Phe’s bass guitar was sitting on a black school looking chair as was Brad’s. A piano was near the centre and two sets of microphones were a little closer to the edge of the stage. Four speakers that will be blaring at us, two on each end at the edges. I looked out into the empty flat ground that will be soon packed with crowds of people jumping and singing to the song. I look farther ahead to see lines of chairs slowly escalating up. This place was big.

I went to the edge and sat there overlooking at an empty audience. I remember when I use to be so scared of performing in front of so many people. I always had the butterflies before we got out. Then Chester would scare them away. Telling me that it’s just the excitement. He would always rub my tummy and tell me to relax. I always tickled and helped me get over the nervousness.

The thoughts were pushed aside as I heard footsteps behind me. I looked behind me to see the blonde nearing me. I turn back again to the invisible audience, hoping I was one of them.

“Hey” he whispered.

“Hey..” I whispered back.

He sat beside me and put his hands in his pockets as we both stared at nothing.

“Big place huh?”

“Yeah..”

“It’s goin to be really packed... I hear we sold a lot of the tickets”

“That’s cool” I didn’t know what to say. Usually I wouldn’t get so uptight about our little conversations. Suddenly he made me feel uncomfortable.

“Mike?” he whispered again. I saw his face turn to face me.

“Yeah?” I said not returning his gaze.

“Please don’t shut me out”

“What do you mean?”

“If something’s wrong you have to tell me”

“I don’t have to tell you anything if I don’t want to Chaz” I said now looking at him.

He smiled. What’s he smiling about, I’m being serious here. I put on a confused look on my face.

“That’s the first time you called me Chaz for a long time” he said as if reading my thoughts.

I blushed and look away into the empty space in front of us.

“Okay so you don’t have to tell me, but I’m always here if you need someone to talk to you know that right?” he said.

“Yeah...” I said forming a smile on my lips. “yeah I know”

“Wanna get something to eat?”

“Yeah... my stomach is groaning”

“Let’s go shut it up then” he stood up and I followed.

We headed back to the room before to see a sleeping Joe and Rob.

“Look at those sleeping beauties” Chester chuckled.

“They’ve been going at it for a while... I could tell”

“Going at it about what?”

“They’ve been saying ‘because’ to each other, competing, and they were both determined to win their little duel”

“I wonder who won” the blonde said.

“I wouldn’t know... they’re both as stubborn as hell”

Chester chuckled.

“What?” I asked.

“Look at Joe... he’s holding on to the Frog like there’s no tomorrow”

“They look so funny” I giggled so as not to wake them up. Indeed it was funny. They were both sleeping on the same couch, Joe on one side, Rob in the other. Joe’s foot in Rob’s face, Rob was practically breathing in the scent of Joe’s socks. Rob’s foot was over the top of the couch while the other was resting on the ground. Joe’s other foot was jammed somewhere behind Rob’s back. Joe held the stuffed frog as tight as possible to his chest. While Rob had one had draping to the ground and the other on his forehead, looking like a drama queen.

“C’mon let’s go look for a place to eat.. let’s not disturb the princesses” He chuckled. I joined in as we headed out the door.

We decided to take his car as we went roaming around the streets of the city looking for a place to eat. There were a lot of fancy restaurants that we could have gone to but crowds will just start to swarm us. So we just decided to go drive thru with Mcdonalds.

We ordered our meals and headed to where they ushered us our food. The young teenage girl gasped in belief as she stared at as.

“Oh my god... ohmygodohmygodohmygod” he girl said.

Chester laughed and I smiled at the girl.

“Can I please get both of your autographs” she said handing Chester the bag of food and giving it to me.

“Sure” Chester said taking the piece of napkin and pen from the girl. Chester signed it and handed it to me.

Hey there spunky girl! Thanks for the food. Thanks for being an LP fan. Mike. I handed it back to Chester as he gave it back to the hyperventilating girl. She shrieked in joy. Chester said his good-bye and I waved to her. Last thing I saw was her head disappearing behind the small counter. Did she just faint?

“I think she fainted...” I said eating at a french fry.

“We should’ve taped her and put it as our music video then” he joked. “hey you’re eating without me”

He looked at me trying to make the best possible puppy dog eyes while driving.

“I’m sorry” I said. I dug my hand in the bag and pulled out a few fries. “open up”

He gladly obeyed. I put the fries in between his mouth. He closed it just as I pulled my hand away.

“Thanks” he said smiling while chewing on the fries. I grabbed for some more fries and stuffed them in my mouth.

I heard him whine. I rolled my eyes and took out some more for him. He already had his mouth open. I moved to place them in his mouth, but he moved forward and caught the fries and my fingers along with it.

“Hey..” I chuckled. He was smiling. He let go as he felt me struggle my hand to get it out.

“Sorry” he giggled. “they just tasted so good, I couldn’t resist”

“Well no more fries for you” I said as a chuckle escaped my mouth.

We came back to the large building. Amazing how a building like this could have such a huge underground stage. I would have never guessed it had one. Looks can be deceiving indeed.

We went to one of the unoccupied rooms and started eating our food. He sat on the other end of the couch, the food between us and me on the other side. We took out our food and he flicked on the TV.

He turned it on to MTV.

“Oh leave it there” I said under a full mouth. Adema was on. What was this song called again? I think it was called ‘The way you like it’. I loved this song. We were friends with the band so Chester and Joe got a guest appearance on it. I didn’t want to be on it, I was too shy. So the both of them agreed to. I forgot where the other guys were that day.

“I still remember the time Mark fell off the stage” Chester laughed after sipping at his drink.

The name Mark, made me cringe. I didn’t hate Mark, just the name. Why does my stupid fucker have to have the same name.

I faked a laugh.

“Look there I am” he said pointing.

“I’m not blind silly..” I said.

“Well ya know... just in case you were” he grinned.

I stuck out my tongue to him as I sipped at my drink.

“AHHHHHH” I heard Joe shriek from down the hall. I quickly stood up to go check what was going on. Rob came up to me and handed me to the frog, and kept running farther down the hallway.

“huh?” I said confused.

I turn my head to see Joe running right at me. He jumped me as I was knocked down on the floor.

“Ahh!” I screeched. “Joe!”

“Oh Mr. Froggie... I’m sorry... I’m sorry” he said rubbing the frogs cheek against his. “I’ll never let Robbie take you again... I pwomise”

“Joe would you mind getting off me” I said frustrated.

“Say please”

“...please”

“Sure!”

I rolled my eyes as he got off of me. I dusted my self and straightened up my clothing.

“What was that all about?” asked Chester sipping at his drink and leaning against the door frame.

“Robbie stole my frog, and I’m going to go rip his head off” he said madly. “anyone wanna join me?” he smiled. That was freaky.

“Uhh.. no thanks” I said, he looked at Chester who also shook his head.

“Well it’s both of your loses...” he said heading off to where Rob ran to “me and Froggie here will have a great time pulling out his guts... isn’t that right Froggie?”

“He can be so odd sometimes” I said shaking my head the turning to face Chester.

“Don’t need to tell me” I heard the suction he made with the empty cup.

“Stop that” I said passing him to go back to the couch.

“Stop what?” he said slurping at nothing but little drops of the melted ice cubes.

“That!”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about!”

“No I don’t” he said continuing his slurping. I groaned and pulled the cup from his mouth, his lips left with the straw.

I put it down on the cup tray on the couch, took my cup, pulled out the straw from his mouth threw it away and handed him mine.

“There... now stop it” I groaned lying back on the couch as I stared at the music video that was currently playing on the TV.

“Your so nice to me Mikey” he said almost in little girlish voice. “Mark must be so lucky to have you”

“Yeah... lucky” I scoffed.

“Hmm? he isn’t?” he said, moving the things from the couch and sitting to where they were before. “are you too naughty?” he mocked.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to talk about him. I’m just glad to stay as far away from him as possible.

“I’m sorry Mike I didn’t mean to say that”

I gave no response. I was still fixated on the TV pretending like he said nothing to me.

He sighed and put his drink down, and stared at what I was staring at.

“It’s him isn’t it?” I heard him say after a few minutes.

I looked at him. Confused written on my face. What the fuck was he talking about.

“He’s the one who’s causing you all of these bruises”

No shit sherlock. Everyone should know by now. Why the hell do they listen to my lame ass excuses anyways. Even I’m getting sick of my dumb excuses.

I looked away and suddenly felt vulnerable. Feeling like I was about to get jumped at.

“Your excuses may have thrown the guys off, but not me” he said shaking his head “nuh uh... I’m not that oblivious”

“Chester...” I whispered.

“What happened Mike?... Why won’t you tell me? we use to tell all our crap to each other” he whined.

“Chester... this is different” I said looking down.

“How’s it different..?”

“It just is okay... I don’t ... I don’t wanna talk about” I heard him sigh in defeat. “I’m gonna go take a nap”

I got up and walked over to wherever it was I was going. Where am I going? I suddenly remembered the room Bob told us about if ever we needed to sleep. I just forgot where he told us it was. I sighed and kept looking around, down hallways and peering into rooms. Aha! success. This has to be the room. There’s three beds after all. In between the beds were baskets full of goodies. Still full. I guess Joe hasn’t come in here yet. Maybe it’s best that he doesn’t find this room.

I sprawled my fully clothed body on the bed that was farthest from the door, looking up at the ceiling. What’s wrong with me? I’m starting to push Chester away. I guess it’s for the best, for both of us. If Mark’s sees me doing anything... sexual or anything close to that... I wouldn’t really like the site of a dead Chester. I sighed as I closed my eyes, forcing myself to go to sleep.

My guess is that it worked. I hear Joe telling me to wake up.

I groan and roll over to turn my back on them, curling my body into a ball.

“Leave me alone... I’m tired” I grunt.

“C’mon Mikey... it’s almost sound check, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon” he said nudging at my sides.

I groaned even louder. I turn to face him and notice him with pixie sticks stuck in his mouth while Rob was eating other junkies on the other bed.

“Rob, why did you have to lead him here?” I said sitting up. “now he’s going to be hyper for the rest of the night”

Joe got off the side of the bed and went to the basket Rob was tending at. I sighed and rubbed the back of my head. I needed the rest. My mouth felt like crap. Eck!

“Is there any gum in there?” I asked.

“Yeah... I found one a pack... in here... earlier” Joe said rummaging through the basket. “...FOUND IT!”

Joe’s sudden outburst startled both me and Rob. This dude is sugar high. I sighed and caught the pack he threw at me. Excel. The tune played in my head. Excel, excelerate your breath stupid song.

“Thanks Joe”

“No problemo Mikey boy” he said with a broad smile. He sat beside Rob, basket on his lap and started unwrapping candies. I rolled my eyes and got up to head to the door. I turned around and looked at them.

“I thought we’re starting sound check?”

“Nah... we start in 30 minutes” Joe grinned.

“You have no idea how hard I’m trying to keep from killing you Joe” I said clenching my fist. He simply smiled and went back to the candy treats.

“I told him not to wake you until it was really time... but.. I couldn’t stop him” said Rob chewing on a twizler.

“Thanks anyway” I said and got out of the room. I sighed. What the hell am I suppose to do for 30 minutes?

“I don’t remember a poster there” I whispered after about the fifth corner I’ve turned. Fuck. I’m pretty sure I was lost. Man this fuckin building is big. I notice a door. Well that has to lead somewhere, out side maybe. I opened it and headed into the dark.

Huh? what is this. Fabric... kinda rough. I notice a light and head towards it. I notice Joe’s scratching equipment. Oh I must be on the stage. Hmm.. I didn’t know there was a side door there. Oh the fabric is the curtain. I mentally slapped myself on the forehead. I’m such a retard.

I started to move, not noticing the wires underneath me, my shoe hooked on it and I tripped, face down first on the wooden stage. OW!

“Ah...” I said rubbing my forehead “that... really hurt”

“Man Shinoda... you’re the biggest clutz I’ve ever had the chance to meet” the spiked blonde said, appearing from somewhere.

He lent me a hand and I took it.

I winced in pain at the side of my ribs. Fuck! He noticed my reaction and held me by the waist, supporting me up.

“You okay?” he asked as he flopped my hand over his shoulder.

“Yeah... yeah I’m alright” I said trying to stand without his support. I released my body from him so as not to make him think I’m weak. “thanks..”

He didn’t say anything. Just looked at me. I can feel his eyes burning through my skull, trying to find out what’s wrong with me.

“Really.. I’m fine Chester” I said standing properly now.

“Let me see it”

See what. What was he talking about?

“The bruise at your side... let me see it” he said answering the question I had in my head.

“There’s no bruise there... It’s just how I fell” I said trying to cover it up.

“Mike... I’m not stupid... now show me it and let me help you, or I’ll get Joe”

He wouldn’t dare! If Joe knew I had a bruise.. he would go crazy... he would call the ambulance and create a huge scene. If not that then he would act like a mother treating a newborn baby. He may be hyper at times but he could be the gentlest and most caring person you can find.

“You wouldn’t..” I whispered glaring at him.

“Yes I would”

“Fine!” I said pulling up the side of my shirt to reveal the bruise there. I hate it when he has to use Joe to defeat me.

“Mike...” he said moving closer. He traced a finger on it as I flinched at the touch. He pulled his hand back. “Jesus Christ... what’s he doing to you”

“I.. It’s really.. my fault” Why am I covering up for him anyway? Oh yeah.. dead Chester = bad.

“C’mon..” he said holding my hand as we walked into the room where I entered in this morning.

“Sit” he commanded. I sat on the couch. I watched him move into some closet area thing and coming back out holding a first aid kit. How does he know this place so well anyways?

He sat beside me and opened the kit. I avoid looking at his face. He’s gonna be disgusted of me.

“Take off your shirt” I hesitated and slowly took it off. I heard a slight gasp escape his mouth. I bit my lip and avoided looking at him.

“Mike...” he whispered softly. “..look at me”

I refused to look at him. I had tears welling up at the side of my eyes. I felt his hand touch my chin. He slowly moved my face so that I was looking straight at him. He had hurt in his eyes.

“Why do you let him do this to you?”

I tear rolled down my face. He wiped it off with his thumb.

“You can’t let him do this to you...” he whispered “Mike.. it hurts me when I see you like this”

“I’m sorry” I cried.

“Shh.. it’s not your fault” he pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back.

He pulled back and reached into the first aid kit to pull out a bottle of... what is that? He also took out a cotton ball.

“This might sting a bit” he poured some of the liquid into the cotton ball.

I hissed as it made contact to my bruise. I closed my eyes in hopes of it to go away. He moved on to another bruise. The same stinging pain. I closed my eyes through out the whole process. He finally finished. I looked at him as he was pulling out a roll of white bandage from the box. He wrapped it around my ribcage area.

“Thanks” I said after he finished. He simply sighed and put the things back in the box before putting it back to where he got it. I put my shirt on. The door suddenly flung open. It was Brad. Holding Froggie. These people are so cruel to Joe.

“Oh my gawd... where do I hide!?” Brad stammered. He slammed the door behind him. He ran out the other door heading to the stage. I turned my head just as Joe popped in where Brad just came from.

“Where is the mother fucker!” he said looking around the room. “I’m going to murder his big fat ass!” he looked at me, I pointed my thumb behind my shoulder to the other door. He nodded his head and sprinted after Brad.

“C’mere you motha fuckaaaa!” I heard Joe yell his war cry.

“What was that about?” asked a confused Chester.

“Brad has Froggie”

“Ah I see” the blonde said understanding quickly why Joe was so outraged.

Dave popped in through the door just as I stood up.

“Hey guys” Dave said hoping on the couch. “do you know where Joe got the sugars?”

“Uhhh.. no sorry” I said lying. It was bad enough that Joe was hyper.

“Damn!”

Rob ran in slamming the door shut behind him. He laid his back on it.

“What’s going on?” asked Chester.

“Uhhh” Rob said.

*bam!*

Everyone was suddenly startled by the loud hit on the door.

“Well...” Rob started. “Joe... kinda...”

*bam!*

“OPEN THE DOOR ROB!” Joe yelled from the other side. “I PROMISE I WON’T KILL YOU... JUST SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!”

How’d he get there so fast? Boy... can these people run.

*bam!*

“I thought Brad had the Frog?” I asked.

“Yeah... he did... *bam!* Joe caught him... and well... Brad said it was my ide- *bam!* ..idea.. and now he’s after my ass” he said stammering.

The three of us looked at him and started laughing.

*bam!*

“Would you guys mind helping me out?” Rob asked under gritted teeth.

“No way man... this is your problem...” Chester said shaking his head.

“Yeah you brought this upon yourself” I said also shaking my head. Dave simply chuckled also shaking his head.

“Well thanks you guys... you guys are the bestest friends a guy could ever have”

*bam!*

“ROB!!!” Joe yelled.

“IN A MINUTE!” Rob yelled back over his shoulder. “okay... in the count of 3 I’m going to run for the stage”

“three!” said Chester. And like a Cheetah Rob flew to the other door. Joe flung open the door. I laughed. He didn’t even count from one.

Before Rob got through the door, he bumped into Bob. They both hit the wall. They’re lucky that there’s padding behind them. Why? I really wouldn’t know. Rob hid behind Bob.

“What’s going on?” asked a confused Bob.

“I’m after that asshole behind you!” Joe said trying to get behind Bob. But Bob was moved by Rob from behind, blocking Joe from getting to him.

“Rob?... you got anything to say?” Bob asked Rob.

“Yeah... do you want a live drummer? or not?”

“Okay you guys stop it” I finally said. “this is stupid, you‘re acting like little kids... Joe you got your frog back and Rob... stop stealing it from him”

Joe stopped trying to catch Rob’s ass as he sat his beside Dave. Protectively hugging the stuffed animal. Rob moved away from Bob and stood beside him by the door. He wasn’t going to let his guard down that easily.

Just as Bob was about to speak, Brad came in with an ice pack on his forehead.

“Aww what happen to poor little Braddles waddle” Chester said childishly.

“I see Joe really got your ass” Dave laughed.

“Nah... wasn’t me...” said Joe. “it was his stupidity”

Everyone looked at the both of them confused.

“I tripped over the wires on the stage...” Brad pouted. Everyone burst out laughing.

Chester made eye contact with me, remembering the trip I had not too long ago. We both smiled at each other.

“Anyways...” Bob started. “let’s get sound checking cause the show is almost here... we don’t wanna keep our fans waiting now do we?”

The sound check was nothing but jokes through out. Everyone kept making fun of Joe, and being the nice person that I am. I always defended him. It was nearing show time and the butterflies flew in my stomach in record time.

I shook my body “I feel so giddy” I said.

“Butterflies?” asked Chester.

“Yeah...”

Everyone else was busy with the playstation, not seeming to care that we had a performance soon.

Chester moved to where I was leaning against the wall. I looked at him as he stood in front of me.

“Want me to fix it for you?” he said eyeing me.

“Sure..” I smiled.

He quickly jumped me and started tickling at my stomach. I fell to the floor with his hand behind my back. I laughed as he refused to stop tickling me. He kept tickling me as I tired to push him away.

“CheSssttTtteeeEEERR” I laughed. He pulled my shirt up a bit as I was lying on the ground and he buried his face in my stomach. Making fart noises as he blew. I started laughing more hysterically.

“Stop...” I laughed “ stop ...”

He stopped as someone stood over us and cleared their throat. I pulled my shirt down, and looked up at our one man audience.

“Mark..” I said alarmed. I stood up and smiled at him. “h-hey... we.. we were just... uhh”

“Playing around” Chester finished with a straight face.

“Y-yeah... getting rid... of my butterflies in my stomach..”

Mark glared at me. He wasn’t buying it. How deep in the shit did I just bury myself in.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Bennington” Mark spat. I came in between the both of them just as Mark was about to push Chester off.

“Mark stop it he didn’t do anythi--” but he didn’t listen to me, he just pushed me aside.

“You keep your filthy hands to yourself Bennington or I’ll see to it that my fist says hello to your face!” Mark growled.

All the guys were looking at us now.

Chester kept his composure. Never blinking, never flinching.

“You come right outside when your done this stupid concert and we’re leaving!” he half yelled at me. With that said he stormed out of the room.

I felt tears start to well up.

“C-Chester.. I... I’m so sorry” I said moving closer to him.

“Alright you guys... go kick their asses!” Bob called to us. Chester moved away from me and headed to the stage.

Everybody followed without so much as a whisper to me. I followed them.

“How are you all fucking doing?” asked Chester to the crowd through the mic. I put on my Shinoda smile and got on stage.

~*~

“God that was fucking great!” yelled Joe.

“I second that” shouted Dave from behind me.

“That was some awesome emceeing Mike!” Rob said placing a hand over my shoulder. “and that was some awesome yelling Chester!”

He moved away from me to place his hand on Chester’s shoulder. Everyone plopped onto the couch except me and Chester. Amazing how 4 guys can fit on to that one thing. I feel sorry for the couch.

“Guys...” I started trying to get someone’s attention. Dave... well good enough. “do we have meet and greet?”

“Nah...” he said shaking his head wildly.

Well I guess I better be heading off to hell then. I thought to myself. Chester looked at me. I smiled sadly as I head for the door.

“I’m sorry” I whispered to him as I passed by. “Hey you guys I’m going back to the hotel... I’ll see you guys there... or whenever it is I see you!” I called out to them.

Satisfied with the “Later Mike, See ya, and what nots from the group, I opened the door and head to the parking lot.

I sighed as I squinted my eyes against the dark to look for his car. Finally spotting it I head to its direction slowly.

Reaching it I open the door and sit down quietly. He was laying sprawled on the seat... sleeping.

“Finally it’s over” he sighed.

“Y-yeah..” I said nervously.

He looked at me long and hard. I didn’t return his gaze. He started the car and made his way out of the parking lot in record speed. I stopped worrying a long time ago. Hoping one of these days I might die in one of them.

We pulled up to the hotel parking lot and got out. We took the elevator back to our room.

We got in and the moment I was through the door he rammed me up right against it.

“What the bloody fuck do you think you were doing?” he snarled.

“Nothing Mark... we.. we were just--”

“Just what huh Mike? Just what!?”

“Mark... I... can’t... b-breathe...”

He let go of his hold on my neck as I slouched over coughing. I stood up and before I could react his fist met my stomach. I dropped to my knees on the floor. Coughing harder.

“If...” he said kicking me in the stomach. “you..” again. “do that..” again. “you can be sure” again. “he’ll be dead!” he spat kicking me one last time.

I clutched my stomach as knelt down lower, so low on the floor my forehead touched it. I could see the blood, sweat and tears emitting from my mouth and face.

“Get up you fucking little slut!” he said pulling me up. He took my pants and unbuckled them. Pushed them all the way down and off along with my boxers. He unbuckled his pants and took of his boxers while crushing me against the wall with his weight.

I whimpered in silent pain.

“M-Markk... please...” I stammered. “.. p-please don’t”

He didn’t listen to me. He pulled me up so my legs were at each ends of his waist.

“Shut up” he whispered in my ear as he pushed his hard aching cock through me. Piercing and cutting me.

I screamed in pain.

“SHUT UP!” he yelled. He cupped my mouth as he rammed back into me. The pain was excruciating. It hurts too much.

My stomach and below felt like a dull ache when he finally shot his seed into me. I feel disgusting. He pulled himself out of me quickly as I winced at the pain.

“You liked that?” he said licking his lips. I didn’t respond, he let go of his weight on me against the wall and pulled my legs off him as I fell on the floor butt first.

I screamed at the pain.

“I said SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he yelled. “now... if you don’t mind... I’m gonna go to bed”

I sobbed there looking at nothing. I could feel the tears drip down my face. I can feel the blood I was sitting on below me and the blood from my mouth. And I could feel every pain made possible to man.

I heard the door slam shut. I got up.. slowly trying not to cause more pain to myself. C’mon Mike... you weakling get up and clean yourself.

I headed into the little bathroom they had and looked at myself in the mirror.

“...like shit” I coughed eyeing my naked lower half. I had blood and sweat smeared all over my shirt. I leaned over the sink and took a face towel that was folded neatly at the side and wet it in hot water. I cleaned my face of the blood and excess crap.

I felt blood trickle down the side of my leg. Yuck. That’s disgusting. Finally deciding that a washcloth won’t do the job. I took off my shirt and turned on the shower. Feeling the water was warm enough I slowly made my way inside it.

I let the water drive my senses back into me before lathering myself with the soap.

I took the... what is that thing... I never really knew what it was called. The thing where you put soap in it and make it soapy and you clean yourself with it and... heh whatever... just as long as it does the job right?

I sighed as the pain in my stomach was starting to hurt me again. I’m pathetic. I can’t even stand up for myself. Then again if I do... well something like this happens.

I take the cloth down and start cleaning my lower area. I hissed as the pain circulated through my body.

I drop the washcloth and grab the shampoo. Pour a good amount in my hand and mixed it into my head.

After what felt like four hours in there doing mindless hair cleaning and crying, I finally got out and dried myself. I head back outside to look for where my pants and boxers have been thrown off to. Finding them, I put my boxers on slowly and the pants following after.

I need to wear a new shirt. Can’t wear this.. too bloodied. I took the shirt, crumpled it up into the smallest ball possible and threw it in the garbage. I liked that shirt too.

Should I go in there and risk waking him up? I really need a new shirt though. I wanna get out of this place. Well I can’t really walk around half naked... or can I? I thought rubbing at my goatee. Nah...

I slowly walked into the room with the king sized bed where the devil was sleeping. I open the door as slowly as possible and slip in. I crept to my bag and pulled out the first shirt or sweater I got. I headed back out slowly and closed the door. Phew.

I looked at the attire I got. A long sleeved sweater. Great work Shinoda... pat yourself on the back. I put on the sweater and made my way out the door with the dull ache in my body. I headed in the elevator. Wait... doesn’t ‘G’ mean ground? so why do they have ‘1’? Oh crap... I never pay attention to these things. I’ll just press both. The door slid open on 1 and I saw the front lobby. I walked out as a few people walked in. Well those people are gonna be going to ‘G’. Wherever it is.

What I don’t understand sometimes is how my mood changes. For example now... I’ve just been.. well RAPED.. and I joke around like nothing happens. I don’t understand you Shinoda.

Thinking of no place else to go I finally argued with myself to go back to the concert building. The guys might probably be still there. If not then I could help those equipment crew to pack the stuff.

I asked the desk lady to call me a cab seeing as how I have no other way of getting there. My black SUV was at home.

After about 15 minutes of waiting a taxi finally pulls up.

The man greeted me and I gave him one in return. He asked me where to go. What’s that place called again?

“Oh you must be Linkin Park” the man said in his Pakistani accent. “my daughter loves you!”

“Yeah... that’s... me?” maybe he thinks I’m Linkin Park by myself. Heh whatever.

“You want to go back to the concert building? that’s where I dropped my daughter off earlier to see your concert”

“Yeah... Yeah that’s where I wanna go thanks”

“No problem... can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah sure...”

“Could you give me your autograph?... She will be so delighted”

“Yeah no problem” I said taking the pen and paper the man handed me. “what’s your daughters name?”

“Koorishmanu Sanderlingamisuna”

“Does she have a nick name?” I asked.

“Oh she likes being called ‘Rish’... yeah Rish”

“Hey Rish... your dad is an awesome taxi driver. He’s cool. Well thanks for checking out our concert tonight. Mike.”

I handed the paper back to the man with his thanks.

It didn’t take long for us to get there. Just as I was pulling out my wallet the man told me to stop. I looked at him confused.

“Giving me your autograph is more that enough payment... Thank you Linkin Park”

“Are you sure?” I chuckled.

“Yeah yeah... now get out or I will take you to my crazy daughter” he joked.

“Alright thank you sir” I said getting out of the car.

I went to the back and banged on the door. The door opened to reveal Chester.

He looked at me for a moment before letting me enter. Was it just me or did it seem like he wasn’t pleased to see me.

“What are you doing back here?” he asked no expression in his voice.

“I’d like to know the same thing” I said turning around to face him.

“I’m helping clean up”

“Oh...” I said looking down at the floor. “I was... just going... check on... stuff” I said forming a fake smile.

“What kind of stuff?” he asked refusing to drop the subject.

“Uhhh... I was going to ask... the guys... if they wanted to go somewhere.. or if you wanted to go... somewhere” I stammered.

“The guys left about 10 minutes after you did” he said plainly.

“Oh... I guess I should be... heading back... then” I said looking down at the floor. I headed for the door. Just as I was going to push it out he grabbed my hand.

“What did he do to you?” he asked turning me around.

“What d-do you m-mean?” I stuttered.

“Spill it Mike”

“Spill what Chester? he didn’t do anything to me” I said trying let myself free of his grip.

“Mike I know he did something... that’s why you came back here... Now tell me!” he said his voice rising. He still didn’t let go off his grip on my wrist.

“Nothing happened Chester okay...” I said trying my hardest to hold back the forming tears. The images of what happened less than 30 minutes ago flashed in my head. His evil grin. The pain. His invasion. It hurt.

“Mike...” he said pulling me closer to him into a hug. I sobbed quietly on his shoulder. He moved me quietly to the couch as we sat down. I hissed in pain as I sat down.

“Mike... you okay?” he asked.

“Y-yeah.. I’m. fine” I said sitting, my legs glued together so that my side was facing him.

“Tell me what happened..” he started.

“He just... got mad that’s all”

“That’s all?”

“Yes...”

“Your lying”

“I’m not lying... he just got mad at me..”

“...and...”

“... and that’s it”

“Mike I know your lying”

“How would you know?”

“I know you way too well”

“What do you wanna know Chester?” I said slightly chuckling “You wanna know that he kicked me in the stomach for about uhh I don’t know... a lot... or.. or do you wanna know how he fucked me right up the ass... you wanna know how badly that hurt me... or do you wanna know about the blood ...huh Chester? tell me which part your so intent in listening to..” I was practically sobbing in my hands now.

He took my crumpling body and engulfed me with his hug while rubbing my back.

“Mikey... shhh... I’m sorry I didn’t mean to push” he said calming me down. “I should’ve realized my limit”

“It’s okay” I whispered sniffling back a sob. He looked at me. He patted his lap for me to rest on. I placed my head down on his lap and placed both of my feet on the armrest, facing sideways placing my hands at my stomach.

“It’s alright” he said brushing at my hair. He kissed my head and continued to stroke it.

“Chester...” I whispered.

“Yeah..?”

“Promise me you won’t tell the other guys?”

“I promise” he said. That was the last thing I heard before Chester’s soft caresses drifted me off to sleep.

~*~

“Mike... Mike...” I open my eyes slowly to see Bob shaking me. “Man.. can’t believe you guys slept here”

I look up to see Chester now also awakening slowly. “What time is it?” was all that escaped his mouth.

“About 10 in the morning” answered back Bob.

FUCK! I stood bolt upright and was going to run for the door oblivious to the pain.

“Mike?” they said in unison. I look back to see Chester look at me with his soft eyes and Bob confused.

“Mark is on the phone for you” Bob said handing me a cell phone. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK! I grab the phone and place it against my ear.

“..hello?” I whispered.

“What the fuck do you think your doing back there?” he said in a rather calm voice.

“I’m sorry...” I said. “I... I came back... to help with cleaning up”

“You stupid fuck! why didn’t you fucking tell me?” I hear his voice rising.

“Y-you were sleeping... I didn’t ... I didn’t want to w-wake you up” I stuttered.

“Stay there I’m coming to pick you up” he said slamming the phone down. I turn around to have the two pairs of eyes looking at me.

“He’s... worried...” I said running a hand through my hair. Worry isn’t the right word... more like pissed.

“Want me to drop you off?” offered Chester.

“No.. he’s... he’s uhh picking me up” I said giving the phone back to Bob.

‘Well..” Bob said cutting the silence. “Chester let’s go get your stuff from the Hotel cause the bus is gonna leave in a few”

“Alright...” he said standing up. “are you sure you don’t wanna just get a ride with us back Mikey?”

“Yeah I’m sure... don’t worry about me” I smiled.

“Want me to wait till here with you until he comes?” he offered.

“No that’s alright... I don’t want you guys to go at it.. go or your going to be left behind by the bus” I said giving him another smile. His smile was sad but he gave it to me nonetheless.

We headed outside to the back parking lot with Bob. Bob headed to the direction of the car.

“I’ll see you later?” he said raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah..”

He hugged me and I gave him one in return. He kissed my forehead just as Bob honked for Chester to get it in.

“See ya” he said as he got into Bob’s car. I waved good-bye as I saw the car drive off. Just seeing him leave feels like it’s the last time I’ll ever see him again.

I spent the time I had contemplating what Mark will do. He pulled up and I got into the car. What ever will he do to me... I already know what he’ll do.

I shut the door and looked ahead of me.

He shook his head and drove off. I looked out the window seeing the endless line of people going about doing their daily routines. Normal people. Innocent people. Oblivious to their surroundings. For once I wish I was normal.

Finally getting to the hotel, we head to our room and start packing our things. I’m amazed he hasn’t gone about his rampage on me yet. Not that I want it... just amazed.

I packed my suitcase full of clothes and the other load of crap I had. Most of my other things are in the bus. I just took what was necessary here. I placed my cell phone that I left on the counter and placed it in my pocket. Finally finished with my packing, I pull it outside.

“Took you long enough” I heard Mark groan. We made our way downstairs and returned the keys. Bob was going to take care of the payment.

We put the luggage in the trunk of his car. We got in and drove off.

“Where did Bob say we were going next” I asked.

“I don’t know...” Irritation in his voice. I sighed quietly and let him drive. I closed my eyes... as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

~*~

I open my eyes to the sound of the loud music. How much time passed anyway? I look at the watch in the car. Almost 3 in the afternoon. The sun was scorching me now that I’m awake.. I’m fully aware of its heat.

“Do you mind I was sleeping..” I grunted at him.

“Too bad... my car” he said bobbing his head to the music.

I saw the bus in front of us in an open highway. Glad that at least I was close to Chester.

I reclined the seat and took off my shoes. I rested my body on it pulling my feet up so it was on the seat. I looked out the window, my hand under my head.

Chester. He was the reason I was gay in the first place. That first day we laid eyes on each other I knew he was the one. I just never let myself to believe it. I gave Mark a chance, and now I realize how much a mistake that was. Why is it that I hooked up with him again? I feel so stupid. Well it’s not like Chester feels the same way about me anyways. I guess I tried to get out of that situation by going to Mark. Only to make it worse. Now I have the abusive Mark and the pain and longing I have towards Chester has gotten worse also. I can’t let Mark see that. I don’t want anything to happen to Chester. I would kill myself if I caused him any harm.

The thoughts slipped out of me as the car stopped. I sat up straight to look at where we stopped at.

‘Emmanuel’s Diner’. Sounds interesting enough. I saw the guys rush out of the Bus. I slapped on a smile and rushed out of the car before being pulled by Mark on the arm.

“Don’t do anything stupid” he said under gritted teeth. I dropped my smile and nodded.

I ran to the guys waving hello to them.

“Hey guys how’s life on the bus?” I asked.

“Well I beat Dave about a million times in Soulcalibur!” exclaimed Brad.

“Yeah... and Rob got a beating from Joe... again” Dave laughed.

“Why’s that?” I asked. But I already knew the answer.

“He stole my frog... AGAIN!” Joe whined. “Mike you need to ride the bus with me or Robbie will steal Froggie from me again”

He clung onto me like a little boy holding on for dear life.

“Joe...” I blushed. “..you’re gonna pull down my pants..”

“Oh.. sorry Mikey” he said rubbing the back of his head.

I saw Chester get off the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. Somewhere behind me I knew Mark was glaring. I walked in, chit-chatting with Joe and Dave. Rob and Brad were behind us. I don’t know what’s going on with Mark and Chester. Must be having a silent duel.

“Mmm.. that smells goooood” said Joe sniffing up the air.

“That does smell good” Dave said following after Joe. They went to the counter and looked at the deserts that were laid inside the clear glass.

“Guys... wipe your drool... your making us look bad” I joked.

“Don’t bother... they’ve already embarrassed us beyond repair” said Rob placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Sadly enough it’s true” said Brad shaking his head. I chuckled as we made our way to a table. Each table could only be occupied by four people so we moved two tables together to create one huge table. The people at the counter looked at us funny but didn’t do anything to stop us. Other people also stared at us. I was glad that almost all the people in here were elderly. I doubt they listen to our music.

I sat between Mark, who was at the end of the table, and Dave on my right. Beside him was Joe. Across from me sat Brad, to his left was Rob and the other side sat Bob. When did he get here? Beside Rob was Chester, staring at something outside.

The nice lady came up to us and asked us for our orders. We all told her what we wanted and she left.

“Bob where are we?” asked Joe.

“Somewhere in Hell” he answered.

Everyone slightly chuckled.

“Joe I told you before... where does the statue of Liberty live?” he asked.

“CALIFORNIA!” he shouted.

Bob shook his head in defeat.

“That’s alright Joe... your special” Dave said patting Joe on the shoulder. Joe gave him a confused look. Everyone started laughing except for Chester and Mark. I didn’t care about Mark, but Chester seems out of it.

“Bob tell me this is going to be the last concert” said Rob.

“Yeah...” groaned Brad. Rob sighed in relief.

“About time..” Dave said.

“Yeah... I’m getting sick of touring... we need a break” Joe sighed.

“Your just sick of it cause your frog keeps disappearing” Rob laughed. Joe gave him the death glare.

“How about you Mike?” Brad said looking over at me. “what do you think about the tour... don’t you think it’s about time it ended?”

I thought for a second about what I’m about to say. What do I say?

“Uhhh...” I started. Chester’s attention was now focused on me. “I guess... we do need.. a little break”

“Yeah... we need some time alone” Mark said placing his hands over my shoulder. I faked a small chuckle escape my lips. I saw Chester give Mark a disgusted look. Dear god tell me Mark didn’t see that. Chester was now back to whatever it is he was focused on before.

Everyone said their ‘aww’s’ at us. I slightly blushed as everyone looked.

“That’s so sweet Mark” Dave said.

“You guys make a great couple” Rob added.

“Mark and Mike sitting in a tree... K.I.S.S.I.N.G.” Joe sang.

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby with a baby carriage” everyone sang together except Chester.

“Oh wait... they can’t make babies” Brad laughed. Everyone joined in. I faked a laugh as I looked at Chester. He was hurt.

He got up suddenly. “I’m not feeling hungry” he said as he walked out of the Diner.

“Are you sure?” Bob yelled. He got no response and shrugged.

Fuck damn it. These people and their jokes. I’m hurting him. Why’s he hurt so much by these anyways.

“Mark..” I wshipered when all the other guys were occupied with each other. “can I go talk to him?”

He sighed and stood up letting me out of the space. He grabbed my hand before I could make a run for it after him.

He looked at me. Challenging me.

“I know...” I whispered. “...I know...”

He released my hand and I ran after Chester towards the bus.

“Chester?” I called opening the bus door. “Chester... where are you?”

Silence.

“Chester... please...”

More silence. I head to the bunks and opened his curtain. There he was sitting on the bed looking straight across.

“Chester...” I whispered getting inside his bunk and closing the curtain behind. I sat beside him, quiet for a moment. I looked at him. He had no expression on his face. Transfixed on the wall in the tiny bunk.

“I’m sorry..” I whispered again.

“...”

“I... I didn’t mean for that to happen... it just... sort of did...” I said turning away from him as I also looked at what was so interesting on the other wall.

“...”

“I remember... when I first came out...” I chuckled. “you use to always joke around with me. You would always drape your hand over my shoulder as we came into a room where the guys were at... and you would say ‘we’re a couple’ or ‘we have rough sex every night’”

I turned to look at him. Nothing.

“I miss those days... the days when... when...” I trailed off. “...I was... free”

Feeling the sting start to build in my eye, I suddenly change the subject.

“So... I got this new ring tone on my cell phone...” I said pulling out my tiny cell phone. “you wanna hear it?... it’s really cute”

I played the beautiful melody even though I got no answer from him.

“You like it?” I asked knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. “I can put it as your ring tone if you want... so that whenever I hear it, I’ll know it’s you because it’s of the beautiful tune... kinda like your voice” I chuckled.

I set the phone up so that whenever he called me via his cell phone, it would play the tune.

“Mike... c’mon lets go!” I heard Mark yell.

“Sorry... I gotta go” I said starting to move out. I kissed his cheek before opening the curtain. “I’ll see you later Chazzy..”

I closed the curtain and walked out of the bus. It hurt pretending like his misery wasn’t there. I hurt him. Again. I have to stay optimistic right? Be strong.. be strong.

I got into Mark’s car as I saw the other guys jump into the bus. In no time we were moving again. I laid back down to my previous position with his music blaring in my ears.

Now he won’t even talk to me.

After a couple more hours on the rough road we finally arrive at some fancy hotel. At the very top of the hotel it said ‘Marriot’. Never heard of a hotel named that before. We came up the driveway, the bus stopped and minutes later the guys come out. I hop out of the car and head to the trunk to retrieve my bag. Mark did the same. A butler came up to us and asked for the keys. Mark gave it to the guy. He whispered something in his ear and the butler nodded nervously. Stupid Mark. Another one of the employees came up to me and held my luggage for me. I gladly let him carry it as we step inside. I saw Dave and Joe run to the front desk while two butlers were holding their luggage. I pass by the bus to see the other three guys take out their luggage’s from the side compartment of the bus. More butlers seem to appear from somewhere and went to carry their bags. I walked with Brad as he greeted me.

“So... what happened with Chester?” he whispered to me.

“He was... quiet... he refused to talk to me” I said.

I looked behind me to see Chester walking with Rob. Mark was all the way behind talking to the butler. You could see the terror in his eyes. I look back to Brad, not hearing the question he asked me.

“Huh?” I said confused.

“Are you okay?” he asked looking at me. I bowed my head down as we continued walking.

“Yeah... I’m fine”

“I really hope you would just... tell me what’s going on ya know?”

“Brad...”

“It’s alright... I guess you don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna” he said shaking his head.

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t be” he said cutting me off. “you’ll tell me when you’re ready”

He opened the door and held it for me to get in. I smiled and walked in. I saw Bob at the counter discussing about room arrangements for us.

Dave and Joe were at the waiting area stuffing their mouths with the candy that was in the centre of the table. Oh no...

“Okay those two are going to be rooming with each other” Brad laughed. I nodded in agreement.

Bob turned around and looked at us.

“Alright boys...” he said holding the key cards. “I got you guys... four rooms”

“You will all be in pairs except for one person... so... pair up” he finished.

“I’M ROOMING WITH DAVE!” Joe yelled. The people at the counter looked at him startled.

“I’M ROOMING WITH JOE!” Dave yelled.

No one made any arguments to the two. They simply smiled and nodded.

“Okay Brad who are you rooming with?” asked Bob.

“I... don’t.. know...” he said nervously. “can’t me Rob and Chester share one room?”

“Nah... you guys won’t fit” replied Bob.

“I’ll room by myself” interrupted Chester.

“You sure?” asked Bob.

Chester nodded and moved to get a key card from Bob. He took one and headed off to the room he was assigned. The butler holding his luggage followed after him.

The pain in my heart suddenly returned. Chester felt rejected. If it wasn’t for Mark I would have roomed with him and he wouldn’t feel so left out.

Dave and Joe stuffed as many of the treats they could muster up and placed them in every pocket they had before running to Bob to get a card. Bob gave them one and they ran off. The butlers were struggling to keep up.

Mark came up behind me and placed his hand over my shoulder.

“So I guess you’re rooming with me... sexy!” he said in a seductive voice. I wasn’t at all turned on. I was disgusted. I faked another chuckle as Brad and Rob looked at us.

“Well... let’s head to our room” said Brad, grabbing a key and heading off, followed by Rob.

I took the last key from Bob before he said his good-bye.

“Thanks Bob!” I called to him.

“No problem... now you kids play nice!” he said as he walked out of the door.

I looked at the card to see the number ‘513’ on it.

“513..” I voiced out.

“That’s upstairs young sirs” I heard a man behind me say. I turned around at the man holding my luggage and another one beside him holding Mark’s.

“Thanks..” I said.

We got on the elevator. The two butlers got out first and led us to the room. I looked at the ground realising how authentic the patterns were. We stopped in front of a door. It’s interior also had designs surrounding it. People put a lot of effort into this hotel.

I swiped the card through the reader and the door opened. The two butlers stepped in first, we followed as I let the rosy smell of the room fill my lungs.

“We have two swimming pools in the building, one indoors one outdoors. The one indoors closes at 11pm while the one outdoors is open 24/7. We have a bar pool that closes at 10pm and indoor bar that closes at 4pm. Our restaurant is open till 12 midnight. We have dishes that vary from Chinese to Indian.” he paused for a moment before continuing again.

“We have an all day playroom where there are billiards, arcade, card tables, slots, poker tables, and much more. We recommend that you visit our steam room, for it is rated the number one in all of New York City. You must come up to the desk and ask for a card to enter the area. One of us will be more than happy to give you one. Only then will you be able to enter. Inside there are steam rooms, which I have just mentioned, there are also hot tubs, saunas, massages, and mud baths. When you are complete you must return the card back to the front desk. We have --”

“Yes I’m sure you have a lot to offer” Mark interrupted him. I didn’t care cause I was getting bored as well. Man... this dude must have all of this memorized. I feel sorry for him. Mud bath... sounds kinky no?

“We hope you enjoy your stay here at Marriot Hotel” the two men nodded, headed out and closed the door behind us.

“Stupid fuckin butlers... won’t keep their mouths shut!” he growled.

“Their only explaining to us what they had to offer” I whispered. He slouched on the couch not hearing what I said. He turned on the TV and flicked through the channels.

I carried both our bags and headed into the adjacent room. There were no doors just a little hallway in between. I placed the bags at the side of the bed and flopped onto the king size. I wonder if all the other rooms the guys went to have a king size also. Their gonna have to share the bed.

Chester’s all alone. Now I feel like crap. I crawled back up onto the bed and laid my head on the pillow before falling asleep.

~*~

“Mike get your fuckin ass up... your hyper active friends here” I opened my eyes to see Mark standing beside the bed, looking down at me. One guess on who he’s talking about. I got up and went to the other room.

“Hey Joe” I yawned.

“Sorry Mikey... didn’t mean to wake ya” he said jumping on the couch.

“S’ok” I said rubbing my eyes. “okay so what’s up?”

“The guys and I have been thinking...”

“The guys... or just you?”

“Okay just me... but listen”

I nodded my head.

“I was thinking that since the concert isn’t until three days... wait is it three days or two days?” he asked.

“Two days...”

“Okay... two days from now... I’m thinking maybe we should have a little party or something”

“Party?”

“Yeah... the butler that was in my room said something about the entertainment room and shit... or maybe the mud bath” he said, his eyes glowing. “did he rumble on to you guys too about all the stuff in this place?”

“Yeah...” I answered. “but Mark cut him off”

“Oh... well anyways... you want to do that? I came to you first cause if you don’t agree, then the other won’t as well”

“Sounds like a good idea Joe... it’d be nice to have a party before our last concert” I nodded.

“That’s awesome” he said his face exuberant. “I think we should do it tonight”

“Then tonight it is” I said flailing my hands. “let me go ask Mark if he wants to tag along”

“Alright... I’ll go tell Phe, Rob, and Brad... you tell Chester after Mark” he got up from the couch and ran towards the door.

“Wait..” I said. He looked at me. “where’s Chester’s room?”

“Oh it’s in room 515”

“Right... thanks” I turned around and I walked over to the bed where Mark was sprawled.

“Mark...?” I whispered.

“Whad’ya want?” he groaned.

“We’re having this party... downstairs... and... I was wondering if you wanted to come?” please say no!

“Party huh?” he said his mouth in the pillow. “with you guys?”

“Yeah...”

“Pshh no fuckin way... go have your party, I’m not wasting my time!”

“Okay” I whispered. I headed out of the room and out the door.

Chester isn’t too far from our room. 515... 515... aha! I knocked on his door and waited. Finally I heard the faint footsteps come up the door, the lock clicks and the door slowly opens.

“Hey” I smiled.

He smiled back and as quickly as it came, his lips dropped back to a thin line.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

He opened the door wider so that I could let myself in. His room design was practically the same as ours. Even the smell.

“Well Joe came to my room earlier...” I started “and he was thinking about a party... downstairs...”

He looked at me funny.

“Didn’t you listen to your butler?”

“No... I told him to shut up”

“Oh... okay... umm.. yeah so do you want to come to the party?... Joe’s going around to gather all the guys... we’re starting it like... now” I said noticing the time on the VCR on top of the TV. 7pm.

He stood there looking at me. Debating in his head whether he should come or not.

“Please Chester?” I asked putting on the best puppy dog eyes I could manage.

“Don’t do that...” he said sitting beside. “your not allowed to do that to me”

“Please...”

“...”

“Pretty please... with icing, and cherry, and strawberry, and blueberry, and other berries on top?”

He looked at me funny then chuckled.

“Fine..” he surrendered.

I smiled my famous smile and hugged him.

“Your the bestest!”

“I know” he said as he stood up. I stood up as well, grabbed his hand and sprinted out the door.

“You got your key card?” I asked.

“In my pocket”

“OK good” I continued our sprinting tot he elevator. I pressed to ground floor and ran out as soon as the door opened.

“Where could they be...” I said tapping at my lips. I went up to the counter and asked one of the ladies if they’ve seen a 5 year old boy in a grown body.

The woman chuckled. “He went to the entertainment room”

“Where’s that?” I asked.

“Go to those doors, go all the way down the hallway and turn to your right.”

“Thanks” I said as I ran back to Chester, grabbed his hand and ran tot he directions the lady gave me.

And turn right. I opened the door and saw all the guys scattered playing whatever it is they were playing. I was glad no one else was in here.

“Hey glad you guys can make it!” yelled Joe all the way from the other side of the room. He was playing pool with Dave. “Isn’t this great? we got the entertainment room for ourselves! they said that since we’re celebrities, we can have the room all to ourselves”

The rest of the guys greeted us, busy with their ministrations to turn around.

“Arcade?” I asked turning around to look at Chester. Finally he had a smile on his face.

“Your on” we went to an arcade game. Marvel Vs. Capcom. Sounds cool enough.

All night, all of us played. Joe and Dave were the ones that were so into the games they played. Brad refused to go on the arcades, for some odd reason, instead he played foosball, air hockey, or pool, always playing with Rob. Dave and Joe were stuck together like glue. Me and Chester were also stuck together like glue. Not that I minded. Every now and then we would switch with someone else. We all had a go with each other.

“That’s 3 for me 2 for you!” Chester jumped in excitement. “I won!”

“NooOOOo” I yelled. I started laughing and he joined along with me. “I’m tired... man”

“Yeah... me too”

I walked over to the couch and slumped down on it. Chester sat beside me. My head fell down so that it landed on his lap. I giggled as he did also.

“You wanna go somewhere else?” he asked.

“Do you think they’ll notice?”

“Nah... they’re too busy to even notice their blisters” he laughed. I laughed along with him before nodding. I got up and followed him out the door.

“Where do you wanna go?” I asked.

“Mud bath?” he asked. I flushed a little.

“Yeah...” I smiled. “sounds relaxing”

We went to the front desk and asked for a card. They handed it to us and we headed to where they pointed.

We swiped the card through and heard the door make a sound. We pushed it and went in.

“Okay that looks like the steam room...” I said pointing to the steam coming from underneath the door. I noticed a sign and headed to the direction of the ‘Mud bath’.

No one else was here. I wonder if they made everyone leave here just because we were going to use them.

“Directions...” I read. “undress until you have no attire. Underwear, or swimming trunks are optional. DO NOT DUNK HEAD INTO THE MUD. When finished, head into one of the showers and rinse off making sure you get rid of all the mud. Have a good bath and enjoy your stay here at Marriot Hotel”

I turned around to see Chester already undressing. I stared at his body as he slowly undressed to his boxers.

“Mikey?” he said staring at me. Damn it! Stop staring! I mentally kicked myself for letting him see me staring at him.

“Uhh..” I said shaking my head and rubbing the back of my head.

I was shaking. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to take my clothes off. Why did I agree to this. I don’t want him to see my bruises. No, I can’t do this.

“It’s okay Mikey” he whispered as if reading my mind. I looked up at him and flushed. This is stupid. I can’t. I can’t show him. I don’t want to show him. I don’t want to show anyone.

“Mikey... I don’t care... I like you as you are... not the bruises laid out on your body”

I waited for a moment then started to undress as he watched me. I undressed to my boxers as I stared back at him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the same mud filled tub.

“That’s really warm” I sighed as my body dipped into it. I saw Chester close his eyes as he let his body go down. Oh my god that’s so sexy.

He opened them again only to find me staring at him again. I blushed and averted my eyes to something else.

“This is nice...” he sighed.

“Yeah this is...”

We sat there on other ends of the tub for a moment letting out bodies adjust to the feel.

“Mike...?” he whispered.

“Yeah..?”

“I have to tell you something..”

“What is it?” I asked. He looked away from my stare. What’s bothering him. “Chester...”

He sighed before opening his mouth.

“When you came out...” he started. “you made me the happiest person Mike... I thought maybe I had a chance to finally get into your life... but”

“Chester...” I said, my heart touched.

“What I’m trying to say is that... I... I liked you...”

I sat there staring at him for a moment letting all the information he’s throwing at me sink in.

“But... I guess... I guess Ma--” I cut him off by moving towards him and crushing his lips into mine. He licked at my lower lip. I played with his lip ring as he asked me for entrance. I opened my mouth and let him explore me, I do the same.

He placed his muddy hand behind my head and pushed my head closer to him, if it was at all possible.

He ground his hips into me, pushing me against the cement behind me.

I can’t do this. I suddenly pulled away from him. A confused look was etched across his face.

“I... I can’t...” I stammered. If Mark finds out, he’ll hurt him. I can’t do this. “I’m.. I’m sorry Chester... I can’t do this”

“Mikey...” he whispered. Confused.

I got out slowly and made my way to the shower. I turned it on and let all the mud wash away from me. I’m sorry Chester.

I heard the shower next to me turn on as I got out. I grabbed a towel from a side pile and wiped all the water on my body.

I put on my clothes slowly. I turned to see if he was finished or not. He was standing there, watching me, water dripping from his lithe body.

“I’m so sorry Chester...” I said. My eyes were starting to water. I can’t let Mark touch him. “I don’t want you to get hurt...”

He looked very hurt. His eyes were focused on me. I averted my eyes to the door as I walked to it. I got out slowly only to see Marks glare standing in front of me.

“Mike” he said under barred teeth.

I looked at him not knowing what to do. “M-Mark... I... I thought you were... sleeping..”

“It’s past twelve and I want you to come back upstairs...”

“O-Okay... let’s go back upstairs then...” I said moving past him. He grabbed my hand as I brushed up against him.

“Who was in there with you” he said looking at me from a side glance.

“No one” Is aid straight out.

He looked at me. We started walking back. Mark made an abrupt stop as the door opened. We turned around to see Chester.

FUCK! FUCK DIDLY UCK! BAD TIMING!

Mark turned around and glared back at me. He slapped me on the face.

“Don’t ever EVER FUCKIN LIE TO ME!” he said slapping me again. Harder this time.

“Hey... don’t fuckin slap him” Chester snarled grabbing Mark’s hand. Mark growled at the touch, flailing his hand off.

“If you know what’s good for you Bennington... you’ll learn to shut that trap you have there!” he snarled.

“Or else what!” Chester snapped back.

“Or else I’LL KILL YOU!” he yelled in his face.

“I’d like to see your fat ass TRY!”

“Don’t think I won’t!”

“STOP IT!” I yelled. “...please... stop it”

Mark turned around and grabbed me roughly on the arm before half dragging me away. I looked behind me to see Chester’s flared figure. I mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ as we entered the elevator.

He kept a firm hold on my hand as we made our way back into the hotel room. He pushed me in as I almost fell forward. I turned around my head bowed ready for his blows. But they never came.

He stood in front of me, his frame well over mine.

“Look at me” he whispered.

I kept staring at the floor avoiding his question.

“LOOK AT ME!” he yelled. I looked up at him, tears falling down my face. “WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LET ME KEEP SEEING YOU WITH HIM!” he pointed to an imaginary Chester behind his back.

He waited for a second. I never left his stare, I just let the tears fall down.

He grinned now. “Why Mike?... do you like these beatings I give you...?” he asked leaning closer to me now.

I moved back slowly, getting away from him. He frowned.

“Don’t you dare move away from me!” he growled. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled it towards his crushing my lips. The more I struggled the more he pushed my face into his. So I stopped and let him do his painful ministrations to me.

He pulled back gulping back air. I gasped it. I felt a trickle of blood at my bottom lip. He moved closer again and licked at it.

“You taste good...” he said with an evil smile.

I prepared my body for the rough journey that’s about to unfold in front of me. How do I prepare it?... I don’t know...

“I’ll teach you to never mess around with that asshole!” he grabbed at my hair and pulled me to the large bed, throwing me on it. I whimpered at the pain. I crawled as far away as I could on the bed till I hit the head post. He then jumped on the bed and crawled towards me.

“What ever will I do with you Mike...” he menacingly teased. He grabbed my thin long sleeved sweater and tore it to reveal my bare chest. He pulled the two pieces until they no longer made contact with me. He took one and tied my left hand to the upper bed post.

“Mark... please...” I sobbed.

“You need to be taught a lesson... Mikey” he said tightening the fabric tight around my wrist. “you never seem to learn...” he said taking the other half and tying my right hand to the other side of the bedpost. Seeing as how my hand couldn’t stretch all the way to the end, he tied it to the head board. One outstretched arm was slightly higher than the other.

“You’ve been a very bad boy..” he said shaking his head.

I looked up at the ceiling crying. What else can I do?

I gasp as he grabbed my crotch and squeezed it real tight. I screamed in pain.

He went to unbuckle my pants.

I need to get out of this. I have to do something. Anything... I just won’t be able to deal with this.

He was straddling over me unbuckling me. With my free right leg, I rammed it at his crotch as hard as I could. He bent down and held it in pain. Let’s see how he likes that.

“You Son of a BITCH!”

I tried to get up struggling to get the fabric loose. No luck. I try harder but they were just on too tight. He recovered a bit from the pain and punched me in the jaw.

“Don’t you fuckin do that!” he spat. “no no no... your a bad boy!”

“Let me go!” I cried. I tried to kick him again but this time he was ready.

“Tsk tsk tsk!” he said holding my right leg as he waved his forefinger.

I used my left leg to try and hit him but was only held by his other hand.

“What’re your trying to pull here huh Mikey?”

“Please Mark... let me go... please” I cried.

“Stupid pussy! and WHAT!” he yelled. “AND LET YOU TAKE ME TO JAIL!”

“I promise I won’t say anything... just please... please let me go” I cried even harder.

“LIAR!”

He tore off my pants and threw them away. He got up and left to retrieve something. I was left with my boxers. I struggled again to get my hands freed. He came back with ropes.

“Now hold still...” he said. He held my right leg and tied it to the end of the pole. Took my other one and tied it to the other end of the pole.

He crawled back up to me and forced his tongue into my mouth. I refused to let him in. He took my nipples between his fingers and twisted them until they felt like they were going to be pulled off. I let pain escape my mouth as he dove his tongue in. Realizing his tongue was in me, I closed my mouth shut and bit at it. He struggled out. I made him bleed. Good. I spat out his blood as I looked at him.

“Didn’t like that did you?” I asked almost chuckling.

“Fucking Bitch!” he said as he punched me in the face. I turned my face to the side as looking at where the blood spattered to. “you’ll pay for that one”

He crawled down to my boxers, took the slight bulge that was there and bit on it.

I yelped in pain.

“STOP! MARK STOP! PLEASE DON‘T!” I screamed.

He only bit harder.

Finally stopping, I felt the bruises that were stinging me. I closed my eyes at the excruciating pain.

He hooked his fingers on my boxers and pulled it all the way down as far as my stretched legs would allow them. Seeing as how he couldn’t possibly yank it off, he took the piece of clothing and tore it right off.

I was now fully exposed to the monster.

“Sexy..” he said licking his lips. I looked away from him and stared back at the ceiling.

I could hear him remove his clothing. Throwing them off to the side. He crawled back on top of me, skin to skin. His hard aching member rubbing against mine. I cringed at the feeling. He licked from my hip up all the way to my neck.

I stretched away, hoping my head would snap off and roll away from that horrid tongue. He continued and licked at the side of my jaw where he punched me twice.

He chuckled as he stopped. I looked to my side not looking back at him. He grabbed at my chin and forced me to stare back.

“Your fucking sexy... you know that?” he let go of his grasp and crawled back down.

He licked at my limp member hoping to get my attention. Convinced that he was getting nowhere he bit me again.

And I screamed again in pain.

“Your loss...” he laughed.

He took my legs and pushed them up as much as the ropes would allow.

“You ready beautiful?”

Before I could answer, he jabbed into me. I gasp at the pain. The pain. It hurts too much. It hurts way too much.

Suddenly feeling dizzy, I see the ceiling above me start to swirl. Swirling, mixing in with the colour on the walls.

The swirling stopped as he rammed back into me again. Then again. He continued, I don’t know how much time passed by, but it felt like an eternity. I couldn’t feel my legs, my arms, my whole body anymore. I couldn’t feel anything. I’m numb from the inside out.

I could hear him as he reached his climax. He thrust into me one last time as he spilled his seed in me.

He pulled out and I felt his body topple on top of mine. I looked at the ceiling not caring. I’m a used and abused ragged doll. I was useless now. Throw me away and forget I existed.

I kept staring at the ceiling for god knows how long. He finally lifted his body from mine, as I felt the weight on my body change. I hear him enter the washroom and close the door behind him.

I hear him come back out not knowing how long he was in there. He untangled the ropes around my ankles. He then went up to my hands and did the same thing. My hands fell on to the bed.

“Get up” he said. He sighed in frustration as my limp body laid there, still tangled in invisible ropes.

Not taking anymore of my shit, he rolled me over off the bed. I fell on the floor with a loud thud. I laid there staring at the side wall, not feeling the pain.

“We don’t wanna sleep on blood now do we?” he said. I saw the shadow against the wall as he was removing the top layer of blanket on the bed. He threw it to the side and jumped on the bed.

Eventually through out the night, the feeling crawled back up to me as I listen to his loud snores.

I use my hands to lift me from the floor, only for it to give way for me to fall back down. I tried again, determined, I used both my hands and sat in a sitting position my legs outstretched together. I could feel the agonizing pain below me. I try to stand up. I could see my feet trembling. They gave way, not able to support my weight.

I let my body fall back on the floor. I put my hands in front of me and started crawling around, looking for my duffle bag. Finally finding it with my hands, I unzip it and look for clothes. I looked at the things my hand managed to grab and pulled them out. I put on a black shirt slowly and agonizingly over my head. I could feel the sting from the previous fabric that was wrapped tightly around my wrist. I grabbed the matching black coloured baggy pants, and also strained my legs to move. About 15 minutes of getting into some clothes I tried standing up again. My feet were still trembling.

What’s he done to me. My feet ache. I can barely move them. My brain isn’t working properly. I silently sob as I placed my body back into a limp position on the floor.

It hurts. This pain... it hurts too much.

I crawled my body away from the room and slowly made my way into the adjacent room, tears streaming down my cheeks. I enter the rectangular room and head into the top right corner beside the couch and near the window, away from the door.

I place my body there, hiding.

Getting into a seating position, I leaned my head against the side of the couch as I let the tears fall from my face hoping the pain would wash away like the descending tears.

“Chester...” I whispered as tears continued flowing out of me.

I close my eyes, blocking out the pain. Defeated, I let the pain and tiredness lull my aching body to sleep.

~*~

I woke up startled to the loud banging on the door. I re-adjusted my eyes emitting from the window. I squinted. My eyes sting. The loud banging continued. And then some more. I closed my eyes tight and crushed my ears with my hand.

“...go away... go away... please go away” I cried quietly shaking my head.

The banging only grew louder.

I felt stomping on the floor reverberate suddenly.

“SHUT UP!” I heard Mark yell.

I cringed at the sound of his voice through covered ears. I sank lower in the corner the wall and the couch made hoping I would shrink smaller.

I couldn’t hear who he was talking to. I could hear murmurs. But nothing more. I closed my eyes tighter trying to remove the noises they made.

I felt the footsteps move again. Away.

“Mike where the fuck are you?”

I shook my head. I cried even more. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t want him near me. I just want him to go away. I want them all to go away. Leave me alone.

The footsteps felt like they were getting closer.

“MIKE!?”

“...go away please...” I pleaded quietly. “...leave me alone”

“WHERE ARE YOU!”

He waited. Silence.

“I’LL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF THREE TO COME OUT!”

He waited again. Expecting me to pop out. No I won’t do it.

“ONE”

I don’t want to see him.

“TWO”

I don’t want to. He can’t make me.

“THREE!”

I sobbed now. “...please... please just leave me alone!” I cried. Dear god, tell me he didn’t hear me.

I felt his footsteps getting closer.

He heard me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I heard him say. His head was above me, looking down at me from the armchair. I didn’t look up, except I sank my head lower to my knees against my chest.

I shook my head and covered my ears as I cried.

“...go away... please just leave me alone” I cried shaking my head.

I could feel his icy stare at me.

“Your paranoid” he whispered. With that said, he got up and left me alone.

With his presence gone, I sobbed louder letting out as much pain I kept bottled in as possible.

I stayed at the same spot, not knowing what the time is, nor caring. Finally realizing that the sun quit on me outside the window only to be replaced by the darkness.

I could see the different coloured lights outside the city. Hear sounds of the busy streets below. And feel my tired eyes, as the lights became a blur. I was encompassed by darkness.

Content with the silence, the door suddenly flew open. The loud sound made me panic, frightened of the sound the door created and who created it.

I clutched on to my knees tight scared as any lost child. I hugged my knees tighter as I buried my head into them.

‘don’t let them find me... don’t let them find me’ I chanted in my head.

I could feel the rush of steps thunder around the room. Then it became more strong as it neared to where I was. I was a bit relieved to realize it wasn’t Mark. If it was, he would have found me by now.

I still quiver from someone finding me at this state.

The footsteps stop right in front of me. I shook my head refusing to look at whom ever found me.

“Mike...” I heard recognizing it to be Brad’s voice.

He placed a hand on my arm, but quickly snatched it back as I flinched at the touch.

“Mike... what happened?” he asked sitting beside me, as I heard his back make a thump against the wall. “...I knew I was right to worry about you today... I always get that tingling feeling”

I could picture a smile form on his lips. Now wasn’t really the best time to joke around.

He sighed. “You’ve got Chester very worried. He keeps scrambling around, not talking to any of us, not even listening to us. He just keeps asking every 10 minutes if you’ve showed up yet”

He’s worrying about me?

“Mikey tell me what’s been going on. I know something’s up. Having known you for so long, don’t you think I could tell by now?”

He waited, expecting an answer that never came. He sighed again.

“I’ve known you since seventh grade Mike... you have to tell me... it hurts me that you can’t tell me these things... it hurts not knowing what‘s bothering you, and it bothers me that something’s bothering you”

He waited for a moment before speaking again.

“I remember in seventh grade...” he said as he started to chuckle. “who was our teacher again...? Ms. Taylor or something... anyways... I was still new at the time, didn’t know anyone, refused to talk to anyone, and people would always make fun of me and our teacher wouldn‘t do a thing about it. The kids in the class were picking on me all the time, until you finally snapped. You shouted for them all to just leave me alone and stop making fun of me. From that moment on you always stayed around me, talking to me, and we were slowly becoming the best of friends. We told each other everything, and all our dirty little secrets...”

He was silent for a bit. “I distinctly remember the one where you told me about some girl that was madly in love with you. She chased you all the way down the streets. You kept running, but she eventually caught up to you... and kissed you. You felt so disgusted and kept saying you had the coodies, and you would always pass it on to me...”

I chuckled as I re-played the moment in my head. I would always run after Brad, trying my hardest to kiss him so that he had the coodies.

“And eventually, you kissed me...” he said again chuckling a little louder this time. “so then... I had to give it back to you, so it was your turn to run away...”

I titled my head up and looked beside me to see him staring back at me. I gave him a faint smile as he stretched out his arm for me to dive into a hug. I quickly responded and let my body embrace his. I sobbed onto his shoulder, as he made slow circles with his palm on my back.

“S’ok Mikey... Braddles is here... don’t worry” he said soothing me.

We pulled apart and I also slumped my back on the wall, tilting my head so that it was leaning against his shoulder, as he sat there holding my hand and rubbing it with his.

“I’m ready to tell you now...” I whispered. My jaw hurt as the words fell out of my mouth.

“Okay...” he whispered.

I started explaining to him about the first few lovely months of my relationship with Mark to the abusive twists and turns he ended up to now. I sobbed again at his shoulder as he hugged me tighter, comforting me with words. I leaned my head against his shoulder again as he draped a hand over my shoulder.

“You can’t let him do this to you Mikey... I won’t let him...”

“You can’t Brad...” I said moving away from his shoulder. “he’ll hurt you... I can’t let that happen”

“How will he hurt me?”

Should I tell him about the gun. What if he starts worrying and calls the cops. What if Mark finds out that Brad knows, what will happen. Should I tell him?

“I... he... he’s really... strong..”

He laughed as the words escaped my mouth.

“The world’s strongest man can’t lay a finger on Braddles!” he laughed. I placed a weak smile on my face.

“...please Brad... don’t... don’t do anything...”

“Don’t do anything!?... Mike this guy is practically RAPING you!... and your telling me not to do anything” he chuckled. “nuh uh... I won’t.... I CAN’T LET THAT HAPPEN”

He gripped my arm, stating his point.

“Brad...” I whispered. “I... can’t lose you...”

“You won’t lose me Mike.. your stuck with me... For Good!” he chuckled as he wiped a falling tear from my face. “we’ll think of something to get you out of this... okay?”

I nodded my head.

“Okay...” he said sighing. “you wanna go see the guys now? they’re really worried... especially Chaz”

“Is he... down there?”

“No he went out somewhere... never told us, nor did we care”

He stood up and offered me a hand. I took it slowly. Whimpering as my body stretched to the pain. He grabbed me before I could fall back down.

“Mike...”

“I’m fine... I’m fine... my body’s just... asleep”

Not taking my word for it, he grabbed hold of my arm and draped it over his shoulder, supporting me.

“Could I... brush my teeth.. first?” I asked. He laughed and the nodded.

I looked at my face in the mirror and frowned. Brad took and a face towel and started wiping the blood from my face. I looked at the healing bruise on my jaw. It was purple mixed in with teal.

After finishing brushing my teeth, him spiking my hair to make it look like I didn’t just wake up, we finally headed out the door and down to the mini bar at the bottom floor.

We headed into a room filled with circular tables and 4 chairs surrounding each one. There was music on and the light was dim. There were people, not seeming to care about their surroundings, lost in their conversations with the others around them.

Brad headed me to a table off to the corner, to a slightly larger table. I notice the 3 guys. They were all happy. Laughing. I smiled as I watched them enjoy themselves. Brad moved us nearer.

“HEY MIKEY! Where you been buddy?” he got up and was about to give me a hug before Brad stopped him.

“Don’t touch him” he warned.

He looked confused.

“I’m just... not in the mood for hugs right now” I smiled seeing his hurt eyes. He quickly wiped it away and headed back to his chair.

“Hey man” Phe waved. I nodded in return.

“Sup Mikey” Rob smiled.

“Hey..” I smiled back. I took a seat at the edge right across from Rob, and right beside Brad.

“So why is it that I can’t give Mikey a cuddly hug?” whined Joe.

“He’s hurt..” Brad said not thinking of what he blurted out. He looked at me, apology in his eyes. I smile back at him, forgiving him. It’s not like I can hide it anyways.

“Mikey you okay?” Joe started.

“Yeah... I’m fine... where‘s Chester?”

“He went to his room, said he needed to be alone” Rob stated.

“What happened?” Dave asked getting back to the previous subject.

“...well... Mark sort of...” I began. I looked at their faces. They had just figured out that Mark was the cause of all this.

“Mark does this to you!” Joe said standing up.

“Mikey... what the fuck... you can’t let that bastard do that to you” Rob said sitting straight up on his chair. We looked around us, hoping no one heard us. Satisfied that no one did Dave began.

“Where the fuck is he, I’ll show him some of my medicine... he can’t do this to my best friend...” Dave said standing up and rolling up his sleeves.

“Dave...” Brad said.

“What?”

“Sit down”

He sighed before reluctantly sitting down.

“How... What...? When... did...Why?” asked Rob.

I let out a slow sigh as I began to tell them the story I had just told Brad moments ago.

“I knew you didn’t really hit your forehead with hammer!” Joe exclaimed after I finished.

“But you believed him... didn’t you?” asked Dave.

“Well... he explained it so... well and descriptive” Joe said swaying his hands.

“I don’t think you guys are getting the seriousness of this situation” Rob said glaring at the two.

They both whispered sorry as they bowed their heads. I smiled as I looked at my hands.

“Mikey...” Rob said as he placed his hands on top of mine which caused me to look at him.

“You need to tell this to Chester... he’s really hurt...” Rob whispered just above the volume of the music.

I nodded my head as I stood up.

“I’ll go by myself” I smiled as Brad stood up.

“Are you sure?” he asked worried.

“Yeah... don’t worry about me” I smiled and walked out of the room slowly.

I made my way up the elevator and down the hall to his room. 515. I knock on the door and wait.

He opened the door and looked at me through the little crack he made.

“Hi...” I said in a whisper not knowing if he heard me or not.

He opened the door widely now, his full body in my view. I smiled again as I looked at his gorgeous face.

We stood there looking at each other until I broke it.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

He smiled and moved aside to let me in. I inched my way in as he closed the door behind me.

“Where’ve you been all day?” he asked.

“I... I was just... resting..” I smiled trying my best to lie.

He sat on the couch. I made my way over and sat down, trying my hardest to hide the pain of sitting down.

He looked at me.

“I can’t keep letting him do this to you” he said angry.

I smiled as I placed my hands on my knees and looked at them.

“I.. I’m fine...”

“No!... No your not fine!... I can see the hurt in your eyes! I can see you falling apart Mike!”

I sat there quietly still focused on my hands. Tears slowly filled my eyes and fell down.

“God Mike... please... I can’t keep pretending your okay... and it kills me that I can’t do anything to help you!”

He sat closer to me and hugged me. I leaned in to the hug and placed my head on his chest.

“I’m sorry” I whispered in between my sniffs.

“It’s okay... It’s okay...” he soothed, rocking me back and forth slowly.

He pulled away from me as he held me facing him, studying my face. He took a hand and ran a finger down the side of my face, and nearing the bruise on my jaw. I closed my eyes as if feeling the same amount of pain the first time I received it. He stopped not getting any closer to the bruise.

“I won’t hurt you..” he whispered.

I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me.

“I will never hurt you...” he whispered again.

He kissed a tear away just as it was slowly making its way down my face.

“I love you”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I looked down at my dwindling hands as he still focused on me.

He moved his hand so it was under my chin. He lifted my face up so my eyes were also focused on his. He held me there, captivated as he leaned in and kissed me.

I opened my mouth as he asked for entrance. I could feel his tongue brush against mine. I duelled with him. I placed my tongue at the bottom of his lip, playing with his lip ring. We pulled apart, taking in air.

We were about to lean in again before I heard the door slam open.

“Brad?” Chester said confused as he looked over my shoulder.

“Mark’s here... and he seems mad when we told him we knew what he was doing to Mike and that we’re going to call the cops on him”

“No..” I said turning around to face him and shaking my head. “no... you should have never told him... you guys should have never known” I said standing up.

Chester stood beside me. “Mikey don’t worry... I won’t let him near you... okay?”

“You don’t understa--”

“What’s there to understand Mikey?” Brad said moving closer to me. “there’s five of us, and one of him... what’ll he do?”

“Nothing...” assured Chester. “we won’t let that happen... I won’t let it happen”

I sobbed. They have no idea.

“Don’t move”

We all turned around to see Mark with his gun, held out to us.

“If any of you want to live, none of you will move” he grinned.

“Mark put the damn gun down” Brad said as he slowly moved his feet forward.

“I SAID DON’T FUCKIN MOVE!” he yelled. Brad froze in his spot.

“Mark please... put the gun down” I pleaded.

“You broke your promise Mikey...” he snarled. “now get over here”

I looked at Chester. He was flared with anger as he looked at Mark.

“I SAID GET OVER HERE!” he yelled again. I turned around and looked at Mark. Brad turned around and looked at me. I cried.

“Mikey...” Brad whispered.

“I’m sorry” I whispered back crying. I turned around and looked at Chester. “I’m so sorry... Chaz...”

“DON’T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF MIKE!”

I moved away from both of them getting closer to Mark.

“Good boy” he said grabbing me by the wrist and slowly walking backwards.

“Now you two be good boys too or Mikey boy here will be punished”

I saw the flare intensify in Chester’s eyes as we moved away. He half dragged me to our room not letting go of his death grip on my wrist.

“Let’s just get a couple of my things my dear sweet” he said licking his lips and moving his face closer to mine. I moved my head away, only to be slapped on the face by the side of the gun.

We moved into the bedroom still gabbing my wrist. He looked down and started putting things into his bag.

I quickly notice my shiny silver cell phone on the counter. I turned around to see if he was looking or not, he was focused on putting his things in the bag. I quickly grabbed the cell phone and placed it inside my pocket.

After 30 seconds he was finally done and we jolted out of the room. I could feel the pain surging through my body but I decided to keep quiet about it.

We quickly walk out of the hotel lobby, while Mark hid his gun in his pockets.

“You say anything... and I blow your head off right here, right now” he threatened quietly in my ear as we walked by the few people behind the counter.

“We hope you enjoyed your stay here at Marriot Hotel” one of the ladies smiled. I smiled back faintly.

We went outside. He asked the butler to retrieve his car. He came back a short while later.

“MIKE!” I heard as I turned around. It was Chester. Mark saw the blonde and pulled me towards the car. He opened the passenger seat and threw me in, putting on the child safety lock so I wouldn’t be able to pull open the door. He opened the back door quickly and threw his bag in. The butler scurried out of the car as Mark ran to the other side. I looked back at Chester who was going through the door. I placed my hands on the window crying as we drove off.

I felt the tears sting my eyes as the car flew off. How could Mark do this? Why..?

“Shut up” he yelled over my tears. I quickly shut up as I brought my knees to my chest, not caring about wearing a seatbelt. I hope we hit something, and we both die!

What’s he going to do to me? Where are we going to go? Is there no way back?

“See...” he started. “this is what happens if you don’t fucking listen to me!”

I didn’t look up. I kept my face in my knees.

“If you’ve listened to me, I wouldn’t have to put on a show just like that” he laughed.

I still didn’t look up. I cried silently, trying hard not to show it.

“Your stupid friends... they are as weak as hell” he laughed. “what’s the dudes name with the fuckin frog?” he laughed a lot louder this time. “stupid asshole... I ripped his frog right after I punched him in the face”

“YOU STUPID FUCKER!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, jumping at him. “YOU DON’T FUCKIN DESERVE TO LIVE, YOU NEED TO DIE!!!”

I leaped onto him punching him in the face. The car swerved to the right as I kept punching at him.

“You stupid asshole... you wanna fuckin die” he yelled trying to block my punches.

“I WANT YOU TO FUCKIN DIE!”

The moment I finished my sentence, the car hit something, as I felt my body fly through the window, before letting the dark devour me.

~*~

I woke up to the agonizing pain running through my body. Where am I?

I tried looking around. Everything was a blur.

My hand was tied behind me as were my ankles. My mouth was taped.

I tried to focus my eyes, realizing that I was in a back seat of a car. I could hear voices. Two voices. Who are they? and why am I tied up?

I whimpered as the car bounced, letting me feel the pain in my body. I felt gashes all over my body. I looked down at my body, seeing scratches all over. Looks like a tigers mistaken me for a ball of yarn.

There’s blood dripping from the scratches all over my body. I looked at my right thigh noticing ripped clothing wrapped around it.

I couldn’t feel my thigh. I didn’t feel anything.

“Looks like our little girl’s awake” it was none other that Mark’s voice. I could hear the mockery in his voice. “you’re lucky your still alive Mikey”

Lucky? I wish I was dead.

“Your not doing too well yourself Mark” the man driving laughed.

“Shut the fuck up Brian!”

“Hey man... you do look like shit”

“I said shut the fuck up!”

“Alright alright... so why did we have to bring this little fuck along anyway?” he asked.

“’cause he’s my fuck buddy... I’ll get lonely... isn’t that right Mikey?” he chuckled.

I laid there not listening to the rest of their conversation. Where are we? Where are they taking me?

It was dark now and we finally arrived at wherever it is that we’re at.

“You guys can stay at my place for awhile” Brian said as he got out of the car. I heard Mark get out of the car also. He opened the door and leaned over my body. He leaned in closer and kissed my cheek.

“Now you behave in there or I’ll have to spank you”

I looked away as he laughed.

He pulled my body out of the car and draped me over his shoulder. I felt a slight bit of pain thanking my body for being the numb thing that it is.

“Are you sure Amy won’t mind?” asked Mark.

“Nah... she better not”

He carried me into what looked like a big house. The house was warm. It made everyone that enter feel at home.

“The guest rooms are here”

I felt Mark’s form move again as we headed down a hall way into a serious of rooms.

“You guys can stay in this one..” I heard Brian open the door as he led us inside.

Mark dropped me into what seemed to be large bed. I looked away from their direction staring at wall.

Both of them left, leaving me at the state I’m in. I didn’t care. They can both just fuck off.

What happens to me now?

What did I do to deserve this? I never wanted any of this to happen. I wanted a happy life. I wanted to grow old with the man I loved. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with that someone I love. I want us to be happy. No distractions. I want... I want... Chester.

I was shot out of my trance as the door opened. I didn’t turn to see it is.

I heard a gasp. I was glad it was a woman’s voice.

“Oh... My... God..” the woman dropped whatever it was she was holding on her hand and rushed to the side of the bed and looked at me. “what has he done to you...”

I kept staring at the wall. She probably wants so much as to fuck up my life also. So let her...

“I can’t believe he would do this to someone...”

She placed her hands behind my back to where my tied hands are and started untying the hold. The moment it was finished, I flung my hand to my chest, holding it like some sort of comfort.

She sighed and started untying my ankles also.

“He never does this...”

I felt blood rush to my feet as I started to feel it again.

She leaned over to look at my face. She frowned.

“You’re a mess... you know that?” she got off her seating position on the bed and went to what she was holding earlier.

She sat back on the bed as I felt the weight shift.

She pulled something out of whatever it was she was holding.

“Mike right?” she asked. I didn’t answer. I didn’t care. “...I’m gonna need you to be facing up to the ceiling”

What? Why would she want me to do that for?

“Please Mike... I need to put some bandages on you” she whispered.

I waited awhile. She didn’t do anything. She waited, not caring how long it took me to face up.

Eventually I moved my body so my eyes were staring at the ceiling.

“Now... I’m going to take off your shirt alright?” she asked. I nodded slowly. My hands were placed at my sides.

“Doesn’t seem like I can take off your shirt... I hope you don’t mind if I cut it off?” I didn’t answer. She sighed and took out a pair of scissors. She started to snip at the bottom centre leading it to my collarbone where it ended.

She slid what was left of the thing off my arms, and then pulling it off from underneath me.

She hovered her head over my body. “Why do you let him do this to you?”

She placed her hand on my chest. I cringed at the feeling.

“Sorry...” she whispered.

She took her hands and pulled out a piece of glass from the side of my ribs.

I kept my eyes on the ceiling as she pulled out more little shards of glass from my body.

“I’m amazed you survived that accident” she said. “from what Mark said... it looked like you were dead”

She finished pulling out the glasses from my body. I felt stings as she dabbed at my cuts and bruises with alcohol. Finally finishing that, she wrapped me with bandage.

She went through the whole process again with the lower part of my body. She cut off my pants, leaving me with my boxers.

She took off the fabric wrapped around my thigh, cleaned it and wrapped it in white bandage.

Once all the shards were off, alcohol and more bandages were added. She took the bag of shards and dumped it in the garbage.

She pulled the blanket over to my chest. I never made eye contact with her. I kept my eyes fixated on the ceiling. I made glances at her every now and then when she wasn’t looking. She was very pretty.

“You need a good rest... sleep alright?” Before she was gonna go through the door, Mark barged in.

“Hey Amy!” He exclaimed. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“Mark...” she said plainly.

“So did you take care of my fuck buddy?”

“Yes I did Mark”

“Good!”

Dear god please don’t let him come in.

“Well I need some sleep” Mark said yawning.

“I don’t think you should sleep with him tonight” she said.

“What are you talking about” Mark chuckled.

“He needs some rest Mark... he’s badly hurt”

“And what’s that got to do with me?” he said chuckling more.

“I’m serious Mark”

“So am I”

“Mark get the fuck out and let him rest” she said irritation in her voice.

“Fine fine fine” Mark sighed in defeat. “good night sweet cheeks”

“Mark!” she snarled.

They both got out. I looked over at the door. Before Amy went through the door, she held the knob from the inside and turned the lock. She looked back at me, our first eye contact and smiled before closing the door.

~*~

“Hey...” I heard whispered to me. I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light in the room. “..morning”

She smiled, holding a tray of food.

“Thought you might need some food” she said looking at me.

“T-thanks” I whispered unaware of how quiet I said it.

“No problem...” she said keeping her smile. “I’ll try my hardest to keep Mark away from you... I don’t... I don’t like seeing people... like this”

I turned my head away, hiding the welling tears. She sighed.

“I’ll put them here alright... just promise me you’ll eat it... and stay in bed” she placed the tray on the counter beside the bed before getting up and leaving the room, locking it again.

I waited a few minutes.

I pushed through the pain as I sat my body into a seating position on the bed. I took the tray from the counter and placed it on my lap. I grabbed the fork and started eating the food she made me.

Drinking the last drops of the milk, I placed it back to the side counter along with the tray. I sprawled my body back down into a resting position.

What do I do?

Suddenly remembering the cell phone in my pocket, I sat back up, not caring about the pain. I pushed my legs off the bed and scanned the room for my torn up clothes. Nowhere.

Garbage! Well duh, what good would torn up clothes do you?

I spotted the garbage can, and lazily limped my body towards in.

Noticing my baggy pants, I slowly bend my body down to the floor. Feeling the pain, I sat my body down instead and pulled the can towards me. I tipped it over and grabbed my jeans from the inside. Pulling out the cell phone from the pocket I get up again, holding on to the wall for support. I then make my painstaking way back and resting my body under the covers.

“Such a simple thing to do... and it practically requires all my energy” I sighed.

Thankful that the small thing was on vibrate, I look at the previous callers.

“128 missed calls” I read quietly. I could tell that half of it was Chester’s.

I placed the phone hurriedly under the pillow as I heard the door unlock. I look to see who was coming in. Amy.

“Hey... glad to see that you ate” she beamed. “well here, I got some clothes for you”

She placed the clothes at the edge of the bed as she watched me.

I looked back at her, then quickly turned away.

“We need to get you out of here” she whispered.

I swiftly looked back at her. Did she say what I think she said?

“I can’t let Mark do this to you... It affects me to see someone go through what your going through... not again” she sniffed back a tear.

“...not again?” I whispered, curious as to who she was talking about.

“My.. best friend” she began. “she was abused by her boyfriend... to death” she said, tears falling down her face.

She decided not to go further for she would break down. I didn’t push her.

“Now...” she said placing a smile on her face. “get ready... alright?.. I’ll be back in 5 minutes... and then we’ll head off”

“What about Mark... and Brian?” I asked quietly still.

“They’ve been out since early morning... wouldn’t say where, but we don’t give a shit right?”

I nodded slowly as she went back outside.

I got out of bed and started to place the clothes on. I finished by putting the cell phone in my pocket.

“You done in there?” she said knocking on the door.

“Yeah..” I said not sure if she heard me or not.

She peeked her head in as I started to walk slowly to the door.

“Good.. your done, now come on.. let’s go”

She was also wearing different clothes than she was earlier.

“You really can’t walk can you?” she asked staring at my me as I was holding on to the wall for support.

I smile weakly at her and start my slow pace again.

“Here let me help” she took my free hand and placed it over her smaller frame. I look at her. She simply smiled.

We made our way out the door and towards the car in the driveway. As we were nearing it, another car started coming up the large driveway.

“Fuck!” she cursed. She removed herself from me. “Hurry get in the car!”

She unlocked the door and I ran for the passenger seat. We got in and she started the ignition.

I saw Mark out the window, running towards the car. He banged at the window.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Amy!” he yelled.

I looked away, making no eye contact with him. She put the gear on reverse and the car powered its way backwards. I look in front to see Mark get in the car.

Just as he got in, the car quickly ran off.

“Fuck!” she cursed again. She looked over at me. “put on your seatbelt”

I quickly complied and placed on my seatbelt.

“...where we going?” I whispered.

She was silent for a bit, ignoring me. “I don’t know yet”

“Why don’t we go to the police”

She started laughing before she started talking again. “They won’t help us... the cops here are useless”

I looked down at my feet, dispirited.

“Don’t worry... we’ll find some way... tog et out of this mess” she said noticing my sudden saddened face.

I nodded to myself.

“Mother of all fuckers!” she said. I looked at her, looking at the rear view mirror.

I looked at the side mirror to see a car, speeding behind us. I was grateful that the people who decided to build this road only made it one lane.

Suddenly I noticed the car get on the opposite lane. I looked ahead of me. No cars. They were only getting faster.

She stepped on the peddle harder.

“Amy?” I was now very nervous.

“..I know what I’m doing... and what’s he doing” she said. “he’s gonna try and cut me off... but that won’t happen..” she hissed.

I was gradually starting to get freaked out by her. I notice the car closer now. It’s nose was adjacent to the back of the car.

She abruptly stopped, and I saw their car speed on past. Amy took the left turn, and sped along again, losing them behind us.

On both sides of the road stood square looking factory houses. About 4-5 stories high.

“Do you think we lost them?” I asked.

“Nah... Brian knows this place inside out” she chuckled which brought my spirits down yet again. “but that doesn’t mean I don’t know it as well as he does...”

Suddenly, I remembered about my cell phone. I took it out and looked at her for assurance. Getting none I dial Chester’s cell phone number.

I dialled the number and placed it against my ear.

“Hello?” I heard on the other line.

“Chaz?”

“Mikey? Is that you!?” relief in his voice.

“Yeah... yeah it’s me” I said almost crying.

“Oh My God Mike... I’m so fuckin worried! tell me where you are” he said uneasiness in his voice.

I looked over at Amy. “Amy... where are we?” I asked her.

She looked over at me and then back at the road. “We’re still in New York. We’re at the Mill Factories”

“We’re are the Mill Factories” I said to Chester.

“What are you doing there?” he asked worried.

“We’re trying to get away from Mark... he’s chasing us... and Amy is helping me get away” I said sniffling back a sob, happy to hear his voice.

“Mikey... It’s okay... you guys stay there okay? I’ll come and get you”

“Alright..” I said rubbing my nose with the sleeve of the sweater. “and Chester...”

“Yeah..?” he answered.

“I... I love you” I whispered.

“What! is that some sort of way of saying Good bye!” he said rising his voice.

I cried silently, sniffling.

“No...no, I’m gonna get you back Mikey... I need you, I can’t live without you Mikey..., I love you and I won‘t let anything else happen to you!”

I cried silently into the phone.

“I promise you...” he began. “I promise you’ll be safe soon... okay?”

“Okay..”

“Good..”

“Chaz..?”

“Yeah?”

“Are Joe, Dave, and Rob alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, they’re fine. Joe’s depressed. His frog is in two pieces. Dave can’t even cheer him up”

“Could you tell them... that I’m sorry” I asked.

“We’ll do it together okay? First I want you safe and sound first... I’ll call you back in a bit okay?”

“Okay..” I whispered.

“and Mike...”

“Yeah?..”

“I... I do love you” with that said he hung up.

I sniffed back a sob.

“You okay?” she asked looking over at me.

“Yeah I’m fine” I said wiping a tear again. “Amy!”

She looked ahead of her to see what I screamed at.

“Damn!” she snarled.

The car was heading straight for ours. It was a one way street and there was no place else to go.

Amy just keeps on going forward as the car got closer in front of us.

I looked over at her. She looked determined.

We got closer... and closer.

The moment we were about to hit, Amy turned the steering wheel to the right, moving over to the small sidewalk.

I put my hands in front of my face as we hit a pole.

The white bag popped in front of me. I was at least fine. I looked over at Amy.

Her face was had a frown.

“Are you okay?” I asked worried.

“Yeah... I...” she moved a leg and then screamed piercing my ear. “...my leg... it might be broken”

“Amy...” I said moving towards her.

“Don’t... you need to get out of here...”

“But.. your...”

“Go!” she yelled. I looked at her one last time before opening the door slowly and getting out.

I looked around to see the other car. They hit newspaper stands. I stared away as the two slowly made their way out of the car. I looked around looking for somewhere to go.

All there was a long stretch of sidewalk with no where to go but grey buildings to the right and the left.

I looked down the alleyway and went in it. I held on to the wall for support. Left or right? Looking down to the left, all I saw was darkness. So I decided to go to the right. I kept moving down the alley, almost always toppling over.

I look ahead of me to see a tall fence. Fuck! I look around me and see a door to my right.

‘Factory 912’ I read in my head.

I opened the door, thankful that it was open.

“Oh Mikey!” I heard him yell.

I hurriedly got in and closed the door behind me. A little too loudly.

I looked around the huge factory building. It was empty with little scraps of garbage here and there. It was very tall and the windows were up there with the ceiling. I notice that I was on the top corner of this warehouse. Another door just straight on the other side of the wall from where I stood. I look down to my right all the way on the other side to see huge doors, the front of the warehouse.

I scurried over to the other side of the warehouse. As I moved closer to it, it seemed to stretch away.

I hear the beautiful melody suddenly ring, snapping the wall on the other side back to normal. I pull the phone out.

“Mikey...” I heard on the other side. “are you guys still in the Mill Factories?”

“Yeah...” I cried. “Chester... hurry please... we got into a car accident with Mark‘s car, Amy’s hurt and she told me to run and so I did and now Mark is after me”

“Don’t worry Mikey.. I’m coming... tell me which factory your in”

“I’m in factory 912... Chaz.. please hurr--”

I got cut off with a punch to my back. I dropped to the floor on all fours as the phone flew away from my hand.

“Mike!” I heard the phone yell silently.

“Thought you could get away, did you little fucker?” mocked Mark from behind me. He moved over to my side and kicked me in the stomach. I yelped in pain and fell on the floor.

I looked up to see him move over to the phone. He picked it up.

“That’ll be the last time you ever talked to that asshole!” he said to the phone and threw the phone against the wall. The phone broke into a thousands pieces as it flew to the wall, scattering around.

I tried to get up, only to be pushed back down with his foot on my back.

“You fuckin son of a bitch!” he said crushing me harder under his foot. “after all that, you’d think that you learned something... but NO!”

He pulled his feet up only for it to come crashing back down. I screamed in agony as it echoed throughout the warehouse.

“What do I have to do to make you learn?!” he said removing his foot only to be kicked at my side.

“Huh Mike!? Tell me... tell me what I have to fuckin do?” he said hitting me harder.

I screamed in more pain feeling a break at my sides. I cried and sobbed at the unbearable torture. Feeling satisfied with what he did, he stopped. I place my hands outstretched in front of me and tried my hardest to pull my body away as he started talking about more shit.

He moves in front of me, pulls me up and holds my neck and pushing me towards the wall. I scream in more pain as the cement wall made contact with my back.

“Why Mike!? HUH?” he said lifting me up against the wall not letting me breathe. “why the fuck do you wanna get away from me so bad? do I not treat you with enough love...”

He pulled out his gun from behind him and placed it against the side of my head.

“Thought you always liked things rough” he grinned. He took his hands away from my neck. I slouched over the wall, and slowly sank lower into a sitting position.

“Now... how do you want it... fast and easy, or slow and painful?” he said his back turned to me as he played with the gun. He placed his hands in his pockets just before he got tackled to the ground by Chester.

Sudden relief rushed over as he punched Mark in the face and all over.

I watch them for a few seconds. I looked around to find something to help out. Noticing the gun that was dashed away, I started crawling towards it.

My body couldn’t help me up. I slouched to the ground. I cried silently, pushing my body up started my agonizing crawl back towards the gun.

Finally reaching it, I take it and push my body through the pain, into a standing position. Mark’s back was towards me as he was on the ground, Chester below him.

“Mark!” I yelled. “stop it... or I swear I will shoot”

Mark stopped. He got up slowly, his hands being pushed away from Chester’s body. Chester got up slowly wiping the blood from his lips.

Mark, slowly turned around to have a grin on his face.

“You wouldn’t shoot me now will you Mikey?” he said softly but still with a grin.

I saw Chester move away from him, moving towards the wall, slumping his back on it.

Mark came closer.

“Don’t come closer to me!” I yelled at him. My hand holding the gun, pointing at him, shaking.

“You know you don’t wanna shoot me Mikey” he chuckled, still moving closer to me.

“I SAID DON’T COME ANY FUCKIN CLOSER!” I yelled crying at him. But with no prevail, he kept moving forward.

I pulled the trigger, only to hear a click. What the fuck!?

He jump at me, taking the gun from my hands and punching me in the jaw which caused me to fall to the floor.

“Stupid shit” he spat. “I knew you wouldn’t shoot me”

Just as he finished he got a blow on the face. Chester and Mark went about their fighting again.

I’m so stupid. Why wasn’t there any bullets in there?

I pull myself up again, looking for something else. What the fuck can I use? What’s there to use in this abandoned factory.

I scanned frantically around the large warehouse. My eyes caught a large red box against the wall, glass covering an emergency axe.

I pushed my body again, half running half walking, while holding my broken rib to the other side of the large warehouse.

I look over to see the two punching each other.

‘Hold on Chester...’ I thought, worried about him.

Finally reaching the wall, I cover my hand in the sleeve and punched the glass. I grabbed the axe.

Pulling it off, the weight dragged me to the floor.

I grunted as I lifted the axe with both my hands.

I saw Mark reaching in his pocket, pulling something out and placing it in the gun. Chester jumped him and they battled again. They were struggling to get control of the gun. The gun was pointed away from both of them. Pointed to the ceiling. The trigger was pulled, and the bullet flew to the window, breaking it. The shards fell inside creating an echoing sound.

I moved closer still waiting for Mark to have his back towards me.

Mark punched Chester to the ground. Chester fell down on the ground, hissing in pain. Now was my chance. Mark had his back turned to me while he was loading the gun.

Just as he finished he pointed the gun down at Chester.

“Any last words?” he asked Chester.

I raised the axe over my head.

“Yeah... don’t turn around”

Just as Mark turned around, my hands let it fall down, landing on his face.

I stared, comprehending what I had just done. I looked at the grotesque image that stood and then dropped in front of me. I killed him. I killed him. What have I done? Mixed emotions flooded in me. I didn’t know which one to dominate. Shock, fear, pain, relief, guilt.

I looked at his face, the axe buried deep in the middle of his face. His eyes opened to stare at nothing. The axe dug deep. The blood rushed out of his head onto the cement ground. The axe, slowly fell off of his face to fall down right beside him, showing the deep hole it created in his face. A well of red blood flooded out.

I felt my body go limp, my legs not able to support me anymore. I felt Chester, move his hands around my waist, as he held me from behind, supporting my body.

“I killed him..” I whispered. “I killed him... I killed him”

“Shhh... Mikey... you had no other choice” he said moving in front of me to keep me from staring at the bloodied figure in front of me.

“I... I... killed”

“Mikey... It’s not your fault... you had to... or else he would have killed me”

I cried harder now.

“It’s not your fault shhh... it’s okay”

He held me, close. I could feel the pain, but his warmth made it ease away.

“Your okay now... your safe... he can’t do anything to you anymore”

He moved by body away from where we stood. Heading to the large doors at the front.

“The police are coming... they’ll understand..” he said kissing me on the head.

We moved away, slowly, the pain coming back through me.

The front doors shot open. Cops streamed in to the large warehouse.

The cops headed towards us, looking at me and Chester, he ordered for an ambulance.

The rest of them went to the rear to where the body lay.

We headed out into the bright sunshine, police cars flooded around the road.

“Mikey! Chester!” we turned our heads to see the guys rushing towards us.

I turn my head back to the figure walking into a police car, handcuffed. Brian. Where’s Amy? Is she okay?

“Is Amy okay?” I whispered. The instant the words came out of my mouth, blackness surrounded me.

~*~

“Mikey...” he laughed. “Man.. you have no idea how tight you are!”

“Mark stop it!” I yelled at him. “please stop it!!!”

“But Mikey... you’re just so awesome to fuck!” he grinned.

“Mark... please”

I could see his body ram into me harder and harder. Not listening to me. His head lolled back.

The next instant, he was suddenly in front of me. His raging cock right in front of my face.

“Suck it!” he yelled. I shook my head.

“No... No I can’t” I whimpered. He grabbed his long fat meat and slapped me with it.

“DO IT!” he growled. Just as I opened my mouth to answer, he shoved the gigantic thing in my mouth. I gagged as it hit the back of my throat. I can’t breathe.

He moved it in and out of my mouth. I’m gagging even harder, not able to breathe.

“Mike...” he whispered. I couldn’t move my hands. I couldn’t move any of my limbs. I laid there as he face fucked me. I laid there for what felt like hours, days, years, eternity.

“Mike...” It was a different voice that was talking to me. My eyes were closed.

“Mike..” I heard again. I opened my eyes.

I gasped out screaming. My body bolt upright on the bed.

I felt a hand touch mine. I flinched and turned to look at who it belonged to.

There was Chester, standing right beside the bed, worry in his eyes.

“Chester...” I cried. “Chester”

“It’s alright Mikey it was a dream” he said as I flung my hands over him, crying.

“Chester” I cried into him, relieved to see him.

“I’m here... I’m here” he soothed.

He held me there, soothing me, saying comforting words to me as I endless tears trickled down my face.

I pulled away from him as he looked at me in the eye. He wiped the tears and smiled.

“Your safe now” he smiled. I faintly smiled back. I looked around wondering where I was. Must be the hospital. Most of the things in here were white.

“It’s been two days” he began.

I looked at him confused.

He continued. “It’s been two days that you were asleep” his eyes starting to water. “You made me worry to death Mikey...”

“I’m sorry” I whispered guiltily.

“Just don’t do it again” he chuckled kissing me on the forehead.

Dave popped in.

“I knew I heard something!” shouted Dave as he entered the room.

I smiled at him. His seemingly endless amount of energy and joy wash over me. “Hey Dave”

“Can I hug you?” he said overjoyed. I nodded my head. He moved to the bed and wrapped his hands around me slowly so as not to hurt me.

“I’m so glad your back.. we were so worried” he whispered. He pulled away, giving me a swift kiss on the cheek. He smiled.

“Want me to get the other guys?” Chester asked.

I nodded my head. Chester gave me another kiss on the forehead. I tilted my head back so his lips met mine. He smiled and left the room.

“Awww” Dave giggled. The door shut behind Chester. “You okay Mikey?”

“Yeah I’m fine...” I smiled. “I hear I’ve been here for a while”

I wiped my eyes of the wetness as he began.

“Yes you have... A couple of days now. Chester was the one worried the most, he stayed here not leaving you”

I flushed at what he just said. I could feel my face redden to the extreme.

“Is it just me or do you have about 50 shades of red on your face?” joked Dave.

I looked at him and smiled. The rest of the guys entered.

“Mike!” Brad shouted. Rob was behind him and so was Joe.

“Michael Kenji Shinoda!” Joe exclaimed moving beside Dave to give me a hug. “Don’t you make us worry to death like that!” he said as he pulled away.

“I swear to you Braddles will protect you from now on!” said Brad giving me a kiss on the cheek and hugging me.

“Same with Robbie!” Rob said. Also repeating what Brad did. I looked at the door where Chester stood smiling.

“I’m sorry to make you guys worry” I started.

“That’s alright” Joe said with a broad smile. “we’re just happy that you’re back”

A series of nods and agreement went around to the rest.

“Okay you guys... Mikey needs a rest” Chester said from behind them all.

“Awww” Joe whined. “but we just go here”

“Too bad he needs some rest... doctors orders” chuckled Chester.

Rob, Brad, and Dave joined him.

“We’ll see you in a bit” Brad said kissing me one last time on the head before getting out.

“See ya” waved Rob as he followed Brad out.

“He had like... two days of sleep and he needs more sleep?” whined Joe. I smiled as Dave stood up, grabbing Joe by the collar and moving out to the door.

“See ya Mikey” said Dave his back turned to the door.

“Bye Mikey” frowned Joe as he was being dragged out by Dave. I waved back at him as he left.

“Chester...” I whispered.

“Yeah” he said moving towards the bed.

“Will you stay with me?”

“You don’t have to ask” he smiled. I moved over on the bed to allow him some room.

“You think we’ll fit?”

I nodded my head as he got on the bed and lay beside me. He embraced me, placing his hands around my body like a protective shield.

“Chester?” I whispered.

“Yeah..?”

“Is Amy okay?” I asked as he chuckled, running his hand down my jaw line.

“She’s fine, she’s in this hospital now, we’ll visit her after okay?” he said silencing me with a kiss. I nodded my head placing it on his chest, letting his heart beats lull me to sleep.

I looked outside the hospital window, staring at the rolling winds blowing at the restless trees. The grey skies hovering above, threatening with the different shades.

Blowing a sigh I look away and stare back the black computer screens, gadgets and the several amounts of presents sprawled out in the room.

The previous days events have still bewildered me. The ever seeping shock that still lingers in me makes me feel guilty for what I did. The images have frightened me. Still to this moment it never ceases to. But I pretend to them like it doesn’t. The moments reflections, playing in my head over and over. Like a broken film, repeating the same picture. Now I have to find some way to fix it. Or someone help me.

I’m a monster. I can’t believe what I’ve done. Although he treated me like I was nothing, he never deserved to die. No one ever deserves to die. Death is too harsh. Why... why did I go and do it anyway? My anger flared in. My fear drove me. My hatred lashed out. My love needed me. Is that why I did it? I did it because I loved Chester. I wanted him safe. It was the only way to make him safe. There was no other way. It was...

“Hey...” the blonde whispered, peering his head through the small crack created by the door.

I turn to look at the smiling blonde, giving one in return. He came through the door and sat near the bed as I averted my eyes back to the howling winds outside the window.

“Something wrong?” he whispered, holding my hand.

“...no, I was just thinking”

“Well stop it, it seems to hurt you” he chuckled quietly. I made a slight chuckle as I kept my eyes out the window.

“Are we going soon?” I asked.

“Yeah, the doctor wants to do some final check ups before we head off”

“Okay” I whispered.

We remained quiet for a bit. Fingers entwined.

“..Mikey?” he started softly.

“Yeah?” Is aid looking at him now.

“Do you wanna stay here in New York for a bit?”

I waited for a moment. “Sure I guess... but why? what about the others?”

“I already discussed it with the others, they said it was fine and the reason is... well I want us to have some time alone”

I looked at him again, eventually breaking into a smile as I nodded.

He smiled back at me. “Good... I wanna take you to places”

“But... Chaz... I’ve already been around here... I’ve practically been in all the places” I smile.

“Not with me you haven’t”

“What’s the difference with going around seeing them with you?”

“That hurts” he said gawking at me.

“I’m sorry” I giggled.

“Apology not accepted” he pouted.

“I’m very sorry” I said trying again. He still looked away, the pout on his face. “Okay... I’ll let you take me to wherever it is that you want to take me to Chazzy”

“Apology accepted” he said slapping back on his goofy grin. I smiled at him not realizing how close he was to my face until I felt his breath.

“Ches...”

He leaned in and brushed his lips onto mine. Neither asked for entrance to the other’s mouth. It was slick and simple, passionate yet exotic. He pulled away and looked at me.

“...Chester...” I whispered, my face flushing as I looked at the sheets below me.

Just as he was about to open his mouth, the door instead did.

Chester shot his head around to look at the middle aged man with a bald spot on his head as he smiled.

“How are you two today?” the doctor asked.

“Great” Chester replied.

“And you Mr. Shinoda?” he asked looking at his clipboard.

“I’m fine thank you” I whispered, feeling like a little boy.

“That’s good” the doctor said still eyeing at his clipboard. “now... the only thing I have to check is... your blood pressure... and hmmm.. well just that” he smiled lifting his head higher so he could see us through his glasses that were close to falling off his nose.

The doctor went to retrieve the small device, wrapped it around my hand and started pumping the black oval shaped object. I felt the fabric around my muscles as it constricted them. Feeling an odd pain, I sighed trying to forget about it.

Chester seemed to have noticed this for now he seemed to tighten his hold on my fingers. I look up at him to see him smiling so sincerely. This is the first smile I’ve seen him wear for a long time. He rarely creates such a beautiful and heartfelt smile such as this. And of all the people he expresses it to, he chose me.

“Well... your normal” the doctor said cutting my thoughts as I felt the fabric loosen until he took it off.

“Could we go now doctor?” asked Chester anticipation in his voice.

“Yes... yes you guys are clear for go” he smiled heading to the door. “oh and one more thing Mr.Shinoda” he said turning around. “the one rib that was broken may take time to heal, please try not to do any activities that may further endanger of making it worse. We placed something in you that will make it heal and be back to normal in what we expect to be no more than a week. So please come back here again next week, one of us will call you”

“Alright... thank you doctor” I smiled as he headed out the door leaving the two of us to be alone again.

“That’s also another reason to stay here” Chester smiled. “I want you to be safe and sound when we arrive back home”

“Chester...”

“Yeah?”

“But we don’t live together” I giggled.

“Well... for now we aren’t, but once we get back, your staying over with me” he chuckled.

“Alright...” I said simply smiling.

We then decided to get up and start to gather my little amount of belongings in the hospital, especially the numerous presents I received from concerned people.

“How are we gonna get around?” I asked realizing that there was no large tour bus in front of the hospital.

“By car” he said. I looked at him confused. “I rented a car so that when you woke up it would be ready”

He took my bag of belongings and opened the trunk of the red BMW Beetle awaiting in front of us.

I giggled at the cute car. I always wanted a beetle. They’re so small and cute. I stood at the side of the car looking at it. My eyes flowing from the front to the back where Chester shut the door. My eyes ran up his body to see him watching me, a smile positioned on his face.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“N-no... I... I like the car you rented” I smiled and got into the drivers adjacent seat. I closed the door as Chester got into his seat also.

“I hope you don’t mind that I picked this car?” he asked nervously.

“No... No, this car is fine... I like it... I’ve... I’ve always wanted one of these...” I said trailing off.

I was facing forward, not meeting his gaze. From the corner of my eye I can see his body faced towards me, one hand on the steering wheel, one holding the keys.

“Mikey..?”

“...Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I kissed you? again?” he asked. I flushed at what he just said.

“I... I don’t... I mean... yeah... I don’t”

“Yeah?”

“No..”

“No?”

“I mean yeah”

“You do mind?”

“Yeah... I mean no, no I don’t...” I stuttered looking down at my hands as my body was now also facing his.

Silencing me before I could speak again, he leaned in and grasped my lips with his. Our lips locked together as if meant to be, pulled together as opposite attractions.

He pulled away.

“I don’t mind...” I whispered, my eyes closed. Before I could open them, his lips were met with mine again.

I moaned, letting my mouth open as his tongue plunged in.

Suddenly I pulled away. Shocked at my own reaction. That felt all too familiar. Images ran through my head. I looked away from him avoiding his hurtful eyes.

“I’m sorry...” I whispered, my head down as I stared at the floor of the car. My eyes were beginning to sting. The memories were starting to flood back in.

The feeling of being used. Abused. Raped. The way he tore at my spirit. Bit by bit for every God damn forsaken day we were together. My bruises felt as if they were abruptly new ones. I could feel each one on my body. Each one is a memory. A memory that will haunt me, torture me. It’ll drive me, drive me away from the people that love me... drive me... to the brink of insanity.

A tear slipped down my face.

“Mikey...” he whispered. “I... I shouldn’t have... kissed you... I’m sorry”

“No” I said shaking my head wildly. “no... it’s not your fault... I’m fine”

I managed to create a painful smile as his gaze was situated upon me.

He started the ignition and drove away from the hospital.

We were silent for the ride. I didn’t know where we were going. Wherever he’s taking me, I have to try and enjoy it... for his sake.

I looked outside the window, my mood suddenly frightening.

“I just have to get some of my stuff from the hotel alright?” he asked.

I looked at him, trying to hide my fear.

“Mikey...” he whispered, his eyes softening. I looked down at my hands. “You stay here okay? You don’t have to come”

He waited for a moment before I nodded.

He got out of the car and headed into the hotel we were at days before. I looked away from the doors as his figure disappeared inside.

I closed my eyes, not taking anymore of my surroundings in. I pulled my feet up, pulling my knees up to my chest as I buried my face into them.

This place, It reminded me all too well of the previous events. When he took me away. Drove me away. I closed my eyes tighter trying not to remember. Tighter as tears slipped out.

The fear that disappeared days ago is gradually starting to emerge.

His face, his mocking face torturing me. His laugh, his grin, his eyes. The numerous nights he afflicted my body, crushing me, eating up what was left of me. He took me away. Took away what was left of my spirit with him to torture me until the ends of eternity.

I shook my head wildly, trying to drown out my thoughts.

“No..” I cried. “No... no... no... no...”

I sobbed through tight eyes.

“Stop... please stop...” I sniffled. He’s dead. He’s dead. I killed him. But why? Why does it still hurt. He’s still hurting me.

“STOP!” I yelled as hands made contact to my writhing body. I jumped at the touch moving away as far away as possible. I looked up to see deep brown eyes looking at me, worry in the glinting eyes.

“Chester!” I cried flying my body towards him as he embraced my shaking body.

“Mikey... shhh it’s okay, it’s okay” he cooed to me. “I’m here...”

We stayed there together, his body bent over so he was level with mine. Whispering comforting words to me as I slowly calmed down.

He pulled away and cupped my face wiping away the trails left behind by the tears.

“Let’s no stay here any longer” he said kissing me softly on the lips as he stood straight back up. He shut the passenger door and headed to the other side and started the car. I closed my eyes as we headed off.

“It’s okay Mikey” he whispered softly. “I promise we’re not going there ever again okay?”

I nodded, and slowly opened my eyes, afraid of what I might see.

“I should’ve dropped you off to the hotel first” he said blaming himself.

“It’s not your fault” I whispered, my head bowed down wondering if he heard me or not.

He sighed and drove the car to our destination.

“You okay now?” he asked after minutes of silence.

I nodded my head, not knowing if he was looking at me and saw the nod or not.

“Do you want to tell me what happened back there?” he asked probably knowing what the answer was already.

I sniffled back a sob as I opened my mouth. “It... the memories are haunting me” I whispered.

He was quiet for a moment. “They’ll go away... give it time”

I looked out the window as people blurred past, hoping the memory would past by just as fast. I fought back the tears as my brain was recollecting back what had happened. I sniffed again.

“Mikey?”

I wiped the upcoming tears that was gathering in my eye as I kept my focus outside the window.

“I’m fine..”

Finally stopping, I looked outside the window to look at the large hotel.

“It’s so... big” I said gathering the size of the building in my head.

“I thought maybe you’d like it” he said as he got out of the car. I opened the door and stepped out never removing my gaze from the structure.

Glass windows were used as walls. You can see the inside of the hotel. The amount of room there was inside was spectacular. The large crystal chandelier visible from the outside. Although it’s not close to evening yet, the dark clouds above gave good enough reason to illuminate some light.

From the outside of the window stood little trees and bushes that swayed in the wind. Numerous flowers scattered about on the ground, being bent down. I looked to where the entrance was to see a few flights of stairs leading to a glass turning door. A huge sign saying ‘Clarion Hotel’ in fancy text above it. I looked back to see Chester removing the bags from the trunk.

“Chester...” I said tying my hardest to show some excitement in my voice.

“Impressive isn’t it?” he asked as he closed the trunk and picked up the two duffel bags.

I motioned to carry one but he moved the bags away from me. I looked at him confused.

“I can carry em” he took hold of both of the bags in one hand and squeezed my hand with the other. Happy that no one was around, we held each other’s hand, as we made our way up the stairs to the rotating doors.

As people came into vision, our entwined fingers separated. We both entered into one of the four slots and pushed the door through. We entered the warm and inviting lobby as people were chattering away with whom ever they were with. The majority of them were of the elderly. No one would recognize us.

Chester passed by me as he headed towards one of the elevators.

“Chester?” I asked confused. “Don’t we have to book in?”

“Oh... sorry... I already got us a room” he smiled as he waited for me to catch back up to him. I smiled at him and walked at his pace towards one of the silvery elevator doors.

He pressed the up button and I watched and waited for the red digital number above the door slide its way down. I felt his body shift and move closer to me. He grasped my hand and entwined our fingers once again. I looked away from above the elevator and looked at him, my face flushing.

He pretended as if he wasn’t doing anything wrong and kept his gaze on what I was looking at earlier. Finally looking at me, he smiled and squeezed my hand tighter. We heard the elevator sound open and headed in, glad that no one else was in. We turned to face the door and saw an old couple join us.

“Hello” the old lady smiled, warm and kindly. The old man nodded and smiled holding the old lady’s hand.

“How are you two today?” asked the old man.

“We’re doing great” answered Chester in his kind hearted voice, keeping a firm grip on my hand as I blushed looking at the elder two.

“That’s good to hear” said the old woman. The door closed and Chester pressed the number 19. “Would you mind pressing 12 for us dear?” she asked kindly.

“No problem” Chester answered and pressed the number as it glowed to his touch.

“Thank you dear” the old lady thanked.

“Anytime Ma’am” Chester smiled. I blushed harder. He was such a gentleman.

Chester turned to look at me as the other couple engaged into their conversation.

“Do you wanna go anywhere?” he asked. “or do you wanna wait until tomorrow?”

“Why what are we going to do tomorrow?”

“I said I would take you out to places remember” he said tapping at my nose lightly. I smiled as his body moved closer to mine as I was leaning against the metal wall of the elevator.

He kissed me lightly on the nose and pulled away from my reddened face.

“Your so cute” he whispered to me, our foreheads touching.

I smiled as his lips brushed against mine. He held both of my hands to the side, entwined with each other.

“So do you wanna just stay in and bask in the hotel room... ask for room service, watch movies?”

“That sounds fun” I smiled. “I think we should stay in until tomorrow”

The elevator sound snapped us to look back at the old couple.

The two looked at us smiling. “Well this our stop, it was nice meeting you two” she smiled.

“You too” Chester said, his body still against mine as he looked over his shoulder. The old man looked at us, giving us a smile and a wink, then disappeared in the hallways.

“I’m glad they don’t know us” I sighed.

“Me too” he said as he placed his lips onto mine again, swiftly pulling back not wanting to push too far.

We stared gazing at each other, giving each other kisses every so often. Content with the other’s silence.

Chester pulled away and picked up the bags as the elevator stopped and opened. He held the door open for me as I went out. He grabbed at my hand again and interweaved them as he led me to our room.

The hallway was dim. Plants at every corner, the light above them. Numbers and arrows were shown every so often. Finally stopping to a door, Chester pulled out the keys and unlocked the door.

I grabbed the bags and started my way in only for them to be taken back by him.

He smiled again.

“I can carry them too you know?” I said.

“Yeah I know... I just don’t want you to” he said grinning at me.

“Why not?”

“Because I love you too much to make you do work”

The words ‘I love you’ repeated in my head. I was silent for a moment not knowing what to say or how to respond to this statement.

“Okay..” he said cutting through my thoughts. “You check the TV and check possible movies we could watch” he said moving the bags into the far corner of the room, beside the bed.

I looked more carefully around the room, taking in everything that decorated the room. The small kitchen was just to my left. The large washroom was situated near the king size bed. The large TV was in front of the bed. Facing each other. The bed from my view was facing me from the side. Right across from me to the other wall was the veranda. I suddenly made a move to go look outside.

I opened the sliding glass door and let the cool air wash over me. I stepped out to see the view of the statue of Liberty surrounded by the dark waters. What a view it was. Other large buildings were erected around us. But it contributed to the beauty.

“Mike.. I’m going to take a quick shower” called Chester. I heard the bathroom door close and the water start to run.

I decided to head back inside doing what I was asked to do in the beginning.

I grabbed the TV controller and flicked it on. I looked over at the movies, wondering which movies would be great to watch. None of them really sparked my interest. Quite a few of them were porn, but I kept on flicking through.

Deciding that I should wait for Chester to help me, I placed the controller down and sprawled my body over the large bed.

The sound of watering stopped and I heard the door open.

“So you picked a movie?” asked Chester.

“I couldn’t pick one, I was hoping you could help me” I said not looking to where he was.

“Okay... let me get changed first” I sat up and looked over to the open washroom.

Chester stood there for a second, a towel wrapped around his waist. He then removed the towel to show his naked body. The view from the back was spectacular. My eyes were fixated on him. Scanning him, taking in the beauty of Chester. His glistening pale body illuminated in the light of the washroom. Suddenly his head turned towards me. Embarrassment flooded through my body as I quickly turned my head to turn on the TV in front of me.

He caught me watching him. Damn it. What do I do? What should I do? Well it’s his fault for leaving the door wide open. I shut my eyes tightly trying to rid myself of my stupidity and embarrassment. I slowly opened my eyes and started flickering through the large flat screen TV hung on the wall, not really taking in what was in front of me.

“So...” he started behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I was quiet waiting for him to continue. I kept my body facing the TV, knowing well that he was clothed by now. “Have you found any good movies?”

“N-no, no I-I haven’t... I haven’t n-no” I stuttered as I placed the remote control down beside me as I looked down on the carpeted floor.

I started studying the patterns on the carpet as his body moved near me.

“Well let’s have a look” he said taking the controller and sitting where it was placed.

I kept my gaze at the floor, slowly shifting it to his legs, noticing his black baggy cargo pants along with a pair of white socks. I quickly shot my gaze back at the carpet as my mind pictured his legs through the fabric, my face flushing wildly.

“How about...” he said trailing off. “...Finding Nemo?”

“I’ve... I’ve never seen it yet” I said shyly, like a little kid.

“Good. Then we’ll watch this... it‘s very funny, you‘ll love it” I looked up at him to see him grinning at me. “Now... to figure out how to order... this... thing”

He shifted his gaze back at the screen and pressed a couple buttons frantically trying to get it to work.

“Don’t worry... I’ll get it to work... you make yourself comfy on this bed okay?” he said grinning his goofy grin at me. I blushed lightly, nodding my head and moved back from the edge of the bed to where the pillows were and leaned my back on the headboard.

The TV was pretty large. Almost the same width as the large king sized bed, and taking a large amount of the wall. Almost as if it’s a small theatre. Little speakers were at its four corners, a flat one on top, and the little subwoofer at the bottom.

“Aha!” he said suddenly jumping up from his sitting position at the edge of the bed, snapping me away from my thoughts. “Am I good or what?” he said grinning.

I nodded my head, making a smile on my face at his childish excitement. Not that it bothered me. It suited him very well, I loved that about him.

“So do you want anything to drink or eat before we start the movie?” he asked looking at me.

I shook my head still keeping on my smile.

“Alright then... me neither” he said climbing on the bed to also positioning himself against the head post to my right.

He looked at me. “You ready?” he said pulling the multi-layered soft and fluffy covers over our legs.

I nodded my head again grinning at him. I took the pillow from under me and hugged it as he started playing the movie.

Every now and then he would laugh at the movie whilst I giggled and smiled.

Nearly halfway though the movie, my head was starting to rest. My head constantly trying to drown my thoughts aside and sleep. I forced my eyes to open, not listening to my body as I tried to watch the movie, not that it mattered anymore. I lost track of what was happening a short while ago.

My head then fell to Chester’s shoulder softly, as I was unaware of what I was doing. I heard him chuckle at me.

“Hold on Mikey” he whispered, slightly pushing me to get into another position. I stared at him through half opened eyes. He took the pillow from my hand smiling at me as he placed it where it belonged earlier. He moved his head down resting on his pillow, TV still in his view. He patted his chest for me to rest on. I smiled weakly and moved my body lower into the covers as I rested my head on his chest. He pulled the covers over us. I placed one hand on his stomach as one of his was placed on my back, rubbing my back soothingly. He kissed the top of my head as I started to drown out the sounds.

“Good night Mikey...” he whispered to me as he soothed me to sleep.

~*~

I opened my eyes slowly letting it amend to the morning light. My body was facing towards the door, curled up in Chester’s embrace. I could feel his breathing behind my neck. His hand wrapped around me. I sighed managing a smile to surface through me.

I heard him sigh behind me. “Good morning baby” he said lovingly.

“Sorry if I woke you” I whispered.

“Nah... you didn’t wake me” he said kissing the back of my neck. “I’m just glad I awoke to you” he said gently placing another kiss and holding me tighter.

“Me too...” I murmured.

Tranquillity swept over us, letting ourselves bask in the moment.

“I love you..” he whispered.

I was quiet, letting what he said sink into me. I wanted so much as to say it back but I couldn’t. Saying it would mean a relationship. I don’t know if I’m ready for it yet. I don’t know if I can be half as good as he wants me to be. I know he loves me and wouldn’t let anything hurt me. I know he would never do anything to harm me... I just... I need time.

“Ches..” I murmured.

“It’s alright... whenever you’re ready” he said simply as if reading my head.

“I’m sorry Chester...” I said holding back tears, not knowing where they came from. This is one of those times they just seem to want to come out for no apparent reason.

“Hey, hey... it’s alright” he said. I could feel his head above mine, as I placed my hands under my head. Scolding myself for being such an idiot. He brushed my cheek trying to ease me down.

“I just need... some time.. please?” I asked, pleading.

“I’ll give you as much time as you need” he said kissing the back of my head.

I smiled as he sat up. “Now... how about some room service?” he asked.

I giggled, also sitting up and nodding my head to him. He grinned at me and picked up the phone that was awaiting beside the bed and also his glasses, placing it on his face. I got out of the bed and headed into the washroom.

I noticed a box and saw brushes still in their little box. I took one and opened it, struggling, not having my whole potential of energy yet. Finally opening it, I took out a purple brush. I made a face at the thing. I looked at another box that read Colgate. I opened it with less resistance. I opened the cap and poured some onto the brush. I placed the brush against my teeth and started brushing. I looked at myself in the mirror, almost choking at the horrid site that was looking back at me. I creased my eyebrows making faces at myself.

I spat out the white foamy substance in my mouth, grabbed a plastic cup, poured some water and rinsed out my mouth.

I looked at myself in the mirror again, my mouth tingly fresh. I left the tap running as I scooped some, leaned over and washed my face.

After a few minutes, I grabbed a towel that was folded neatly beside the sink, and wiped my face of the dripping water.

I turn to the door to see him leaning against it, smile upon his lips.

I looked at him confused. “What?”

“Nothing...” he said, smile still etched on his lips.

I looked at him with a smirk and headed back into the room.

“Room service will be up in a couple of minutes” he said and went into the washroom.

I opened the door and headed into the balcony. The grey sky was replaced by bright blue, with white puff of clouds scattered aimlessly. The water sparkling as boats roamed about it. I look down at the small strips of streets below, seeing the ant-sized cars move around in traffic.

My gazing was swiftly interrupted by the knock on the door. I headed back in and went to open the door.

“Good morning sir” the middle aged lady said as I moved aside for her to push the tray through. I noticed Chester get out of the washroom smiling, his blonde spikes darting out.

“Thank you” Chester said as the lady motioned to leave. I smiled back at her as she went out. I closed the door and looked back at the grinning Chester.

“Wanna eat outside?” he asked.

My mind thought for second about what he said until finally realizing he was talking about the overly large balcony.

I nodded my head as he started pushing the tray. I followed suit as he pushed it outside.

We headed to the table sprawled out. I never really took the time to realize what was on this thing. The glass table surrounded by four chairs was one of them. The other things were large plants almost reaching the top of the ceiling. They were surrounding a slightly large thing of what looked like to be a hot tub.

Chester placed the covered plates on the table as I watched him. He motioned for me to sit down. I did as I was told as he finished placing the plates on the table.

He sat down smiling at me. “Alright on a count of three we open it and see what’s inside” he said handing me a plate. I grinned at his excitement.

“Okay” I replied.